


You Are My Sunshine

by Gigglemite



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Ex, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Konoha is a little shit, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Original Character(s), Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, The MVP, kenma is the best, like seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28228797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigglemite/pseuds/Gigglemite
Summary: "We did not have nearly enough time together, but with the time we did have, I can honestly say, Kotarou, you are my sunshine."
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	You Are My Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> TW for abuse
> 
> Also, I broke my sister with this fic soooo... I'm sorry?

"You know that writing to your soulmate so much can come off as clingy right?" Kuroo told Bokuto without even looking up from his textbook as he weaved his pen through his fingers. 

"I knooww that!" Bokuto continued writing on his arm. "It's not my fault he's never responded. Not once!" He frowned at the words he'd just written. 

**Hey Hey Hey! How was your day?**

"Mm, I wouldn't understand that. Kenma and I are very happy together." Kuroo teased. He knew that not being able to communicate with his soulmate bugged Bokuto, but he also knew it was incredibly easy to tease him about it. 

"This is just weird. My soulmate refuses to answer me!" Bokuto whined and flopped onto his bed. 

"Bro, I'm sure it's fine." Kuroo sighed. Despite always being up for teasing his best friend, Bokuto always decided to become talkative when it was his time to study.

"No, it feels like something is wrong." Bokuto pulled out his pen and was about to write something, anything else on his arm that could maybe get his soulmate to respond. "Wait!" He sat up quickly. "No way! Kuroo, he responded!" Bokuto shoved his arm in Kuroo's face. 

"Bo, please sto-" Kuroo was about to complain but stopped mid-sentence as he read what was on Bokuto's arm. 

**Please Save Me.**

"What kind of joke is this?" Kuroo grabbed Bokuto's arm and read it again. "I don't know who your soulmate is but he seriously needs to know what is and isn't a joke." 

"He hasn't said anything to me before, why would the first thing he says be this?! And why would it be a joke?!" Bokuto yanked his arm back and brushed his thumb over the words. "I have to say something back!" He grabbed his pen and wrote:

**What's wrong?**

but the message from his soulmate was gone just as quickly as it appeared. 

"Kuroo, it's gone," Bokuto said sadly. "Why would he say something like that and then wash it off right after?" 

"I don't know, man, but you need to study. I know you're worried, but you have that test tomorrow. Can't have my roommate flunk out." Kuroo turned back to his textbook. He couldn't help his own worry that had started to grow when he saw those words. If Bokuto's soulmate was in trouble, shouldn't they try to help him? 

"Should I write something else? I'm really worried." 

"No," Kuroo didn't like the connotation that those words held. "Don't write anything else tonight. We'll talk with Kenma tomorrow and figure out a plan." 

"So then you're also worried?" 

Kuroo paused a moment. Was he worried? Yes, absolutely. The way those words felt to him was as if Bokuto's soulmate were being hurt. But did he want to worry Bokuto the same way? No way. "Call it a friendly concern. That's all." He decided to not get into it tonight. If his soulmate was being hurt by someone and they're the one who washed the sentence off, then if Bokuto tried to write anything more tonight it could just put him in danger. 

"There's no way I can focus on studying now!" Bokuto whined again.

"Oh my god," Kuroo pulled out Bokuto's textbook and put it on his desk. "Just come here, I'll help you." He groaned. 

.

"Did you at least pass?" Kuroo asked as he and Bokuto walked across the courtyard toward Kenma's apartment the next day. "Please tell me you passed." 

"I did pass!" Bokuto boasted with a smile. "Barely." He added when Kuroo shot a glare his way. "Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I still don't get how Kenma can stay in one of the apartments while we just get a dorm." 

"Do you know how much money he gets from his streams? He literally bribed the school." Kuroo laughed. 

"Why aren't you living with him then?" 

"What, and leave my best bro by himself. What kind of person do you think I am?" Kuroo gasped dramatically. 

"You're the best!" Bokuto teared up. 

"Only the best for the best." Kuroo laughed. 

"Did your soulmate write anything else?" A voice came up behind the two men and made them jump. 

"Kenma! What the fuck?!" Kuroo put his hand on his chest. 

"You leave your apartment?" Bokuto asked. It was a genuine question and definitely not one that was supposed to come across as rude. 

"Um, wow, okay then." Kenma crossed his arms and walked ahead of them. "Don't bother coming over now." 

"No! Wait, Kenma! I'm sorry!" Bokuto jogged to catch up and threw himself on Kenma. "Please help meeee!" He begged. 

"Oh my god fine, but get off of me first!" Kenma shrugged Bokuto off his back and straightened his bag. "Did your soulmate write anything else?" He repeated as the three of them walked. 

"I did get a message during class but it was erased right after again." 

"You got another one? And you didn't tell me?!" Kuroo yelled at him. 

"Shush." Kenma grabbed Kuroo's hand which effectively made him shut up. "What did it say, Bokuto?" 

"He asked if it ever stops hurting..." 

"I might have an idea of who your soulmate is. Come on." Kenma pulled Kuroo who pulled Bokuto and they practically ran the rest of the way to Kenma's apartment. 

"Okay, how the fuck could you possibly know who his soulmate is based on two simple messages?" Kuroo asked when they were all inside. 

"You sound like you still doubt me and my ways of getting information," Kenma smirked as Kuroo's eyes widened. 

"What'd you do?" He asked. 

"I didn't do anything bad if that's what you think." Kenma chuckled. "All I did was befriend someone online who seemed like he needed a friend."

"Who is he?" Bokuto asked excitedly. 

"Calm down, if it's who I think it is then I have some bad news." Kenma had Kuroo and Bokuto sit down before opening the messages between him and this guy. "So, to preface this, this guy actually goes to school here." 

"No way!" Bokuto was bouncing in his seat. 

"Didn't you hear me say I had bad news?" Kenma sighed. "Whatever, anyway, I've never met this guy face to face but I do know he goes here because I've met his um, I've met his boyfriend." 

"His, what now?" Bokuto stopped vibrating and sat deadly still. "Did you say his boyfriend?" 

"Kenma, I thought you were gonna help not crush Bo's dreams." Kuroo butted in. 

"I said I had bad news. Do neither of you listen to me when I speak?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, whatever, that's just one half of the bad news." Kenma handed Bokuto his phone and told him and Kuroo to read through the chats. As they did, Bokuto's eyes started to leak and Kuroo put his hand over his mouth. "As you can see, his boyfriend is not the best person." Kenma said and took his phone back when they were done. 

"Not the best person?! Kenma, the way this guy describes his boyfriend is full-blown abusive!" Kuroo chewed his bottom lip anxiously to stop from yelling. 

"Yeah, that's what I meant by bad news. The things your soulmate has said and how he sounds reminded me of this guy." Kenma stood up and walked over to his gaming setup. "I'm not saying it is him, but I'm pretty confident it is." He sat down and grabbed his cat headphones. 

"Wait, are you seriously gonna game right now?!" Kuroo jumped up and followed Kenma. "Do you see him? We need to do something." He whispered and pointed back at Bokuto who was just sitting there. He wasn't saying anything, he wasn't even crying anymore, he was just sitting there.

"I’m trying to do something. If you'll let me of course." Kenma glared at Kuroo. "Shouyo and I have a group call with this guy every day at this time. It’s the only time he can get away from his boyfriend because he has class." He turned on the monitor and put on his headphones. "I'll ask him to write something to his soulmate and we can confirm if it's Bokuto or not." 

"Oh uh," Kuroo laughed nervously. "You go, you go do your thing then. I'll comfort Bo." 

"You do that." Kenma glared at him again but his face immediately mellowed out when a voice crackled through his headset. "Hey, Shouyo!" He said cheerily. 

"I'm convinced Kenma likes Hinata more than me most times." Kuroo pouted and sat beside Bokuto. "Hey," he nudged him with his elbow. "Kenma is gonna figure out how to confirm if this guy is your soulmate. If he is, we'll figure out how to get him out of that relationship." 

"We should do that anyway!" Bokuto turned to face Kuroo. He grabbed Kuroo's arms and held him with a tight grip. "Even if he's not my soulmate, no one deserves to be in a relationship like that." 

"I, I know Bo. We'll do something for him either way. I promise." Kuroo told him gently and relaxed his body when Bokuto's strong grip loosened from his upper arms. _'I may have a bruise now.'_ He thought as he rubbed his arms. 

"Hey, Akaashi! It's been a while!" Kenma's voice interrupted the two men. It was a name they didn't know and based on that, it must be the guy. "Haha I know, I know. But calling you Keiji is weird when he haven't met face to face." Kenma laughed. 

"Akaashi Keiji," Bokuto said the name a few times under his breath. _'A beautiful name. I bet he's just as beautiful.'_ he thought with a smile on his face. 

"So, how have you been? Shouyo, be quiet a second. Akaashi, how are you lately? You haven't texted me for a few days." Kenma asked. He had a pretty good idea of what had happened, but he didn't want to assume. "Ah, so he took your phone again..." his suspicions were confirmed. Akaashi's boyfriend had taken his phone, something he had a habit of doing. 

"He took his phone?!" Bokuto whisper yelled. 

"Shh. We don't want to interrupt them." Kuroo patted Bokuto's shoulder in a comforting manner. 

"Hey, Akaashi, I have a question." Kenma started. If he was going to do this it had to be now before Akaashi's boyfriend got back and kicked him offline. "Since you couldn't text me, did you happen to write to your soulmate at all?" He asked. "Why am I asking? Well, and don't hang up or anything, but I think your soulmate may be friends with mine." The silence he got from the other line was almost deafening. 

"Guys! Guys! My soulmate wrote something!" Bokuto jumped up from his seat and ran over to Kenma. 

**Are you with Kozume right now?**

"So it is you, Akaashi." Kenma's voice turned very soft as he turned his attention back to his call. "No, no, it's okay. I get it. You needed help and you couldn't reach me. I'm just glad you finally reached out to your soulmate." Kenma smiled gently to himself. "You know, this is a pretty good excuse to finally meet face to face." His smile quickly fell and his eyes shot wide open. "No! Hey, stop it! He's just talking to me! Calm down, Eiko!" Kenma stood up from his seat. "If you can, meet me where we talked about before!" Is all he could get out before the line went dead. "Shouyo, calm down. Calm the fuck down!" Kenma was pulling at his hair as his brain went numb. "I'll do something, don't worry. Yes, I will figure something out. If he can contact you let me know right away. Yes. Yes, I'm going now. I'll let you know if he gets there. Bye." Kenma threw his headset off and ran to his door. 

"Kenma what the fuck was that?!" Kuroo and Bokuto ran after him. 

"Is he okay?! Is Eiko the boyfriend? Was he hurting him?!" Bokuto threw question after question Kenma's way as the three of them ran to somewhere on campus. 

"Shut up! I can't hear myself think!" Kenma snapped. "Okay, go to the second building after the cafeteria and go to the second-floor bathroom." He said to himself as he sped across campus. "He'll be there. He'll be there. He will be there. He had better be there." Kenma's mind was racing a mile a minute and he could hardly breathe. 

"Goddammit Kenma! What is happening right now?!" Kuroo bent down and put his hands on his knees to catch his breath after the three had arrived at the second-floor bathroom. "Everything was going great!" 

"Eiko got back early." Is all Kenma said before his knees gave out and he fell to the ground. 

"Hey!" Kuroo dropped to the ground next to Kenma and lifted him up. "Are you okay?" He asked gently. 

"Eiko doesn't like me, he's always seen me as a threat. He's been trying to get Akaashi to stop talking to me for weeks now. But when he got back and saw Akaashi writing to his soulmate as well as talking to me, it sent him over the edge." Kenma pushed back his tears but his voice still wavered. 

"Why are we here?" Bokuto asked. He was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head in between them. 

"Akaashi and I talked before and we decided to meet up here if Eiko ever got too bad." 

"Will he be able to get here?" Bokuto's voice was quiet and you could tell by the shaking of his shoulders that he was starting to cry. 

"If he can get away from Eiko then yes. But I'll have no way of knowing for a while because Eiko still has his phone." Kenma and Kuroo also sat down on the floor and Kenma leaned his head on Kuroo's shoulder. "You guys don't have to stay here, it might be a while." 

"I'm not going anywhere. There's no way I'm leaving you in a bathroom alone." Kuroo kissed the top of Kenma's head and then leaned his cheek against it. 

"Will he be okay with having us here too?" Bokuto asked softly. 

"I, I don't actually know..." 

"I'll leave. I don't want to make anything worse." Bokuto stood up slowly and made his way to the door before he abruptly stopped. 

"Bo?" Kuroo asked. 

**I'm Coming. Please Stay There.**

-

"So, what? I'm not good enough for you anymore? You gotta go talk to that jackass, Kozume." Eiko latched onto Akaashi's wrist and held it up. "And even write to your soulmate now?!" 

"Please let, let go." Akaashi used his free hand to try and free his other. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Does this hurt?" Akaashi just nodded, he was grinding his teeth together so he didn't yell out in pain. "Good." Eiko tightened his grip and made Akaashi whimper. 

"Why are, why are you doing this t-to me?" 

"You have to be punished, Darling." Eiko finally let go and Akaashi quickly backed away from him, cradling his wrist. "I'm just looking out for you. Kozume is a bad influence on you, and your soulmate, oh don't even get me started on whoever the fuck that is." Eiko laughed. "I’m the only one who could ever love you." He moved closer to Akaashi and put a finger under his chin, lifting his tear-stained face up. "No one could ever want you. Just be glad I do." 

"No," Akaashi mumbled and stepped away from Eiko. 

"What was that?" 

"I said, n-no." He spoke a bit louder. 

"Oh dear, are you speaking back to me?" Eiko grabbed a fistful of Akaashi's hair and pulled him forward. "Are you?!" 

Akaashi's whole body was shaking at this point but he still stood his ground. "I-I'm done." 

"Oh, you're done now? See, what did I tell you? Kozume is a bad-" 

"Stop it. Stop calling my friend a bad influence." 

"Your friend? I'm the only friend you need! I'm the only friend you deserve!" Eiko growled out. His anger was no longer able to be contained and he threw Akaashi down on the ground. "You think you're too good for me now? Is that it?! You think that because you talked to your soulmate once that there are people who care about you!?" 

Akaashi stood up slowly and looked at Eiko with watery yet strong eyes. "I deserve better than you..!" He yelled weakly. "Kozume and Shouyo care about me, more than you ever could, or would. I'm done Eiko." He walked to the door of their dorm and opened it. 

"If you leave now, don't ever expect me to take you back!" Eiko yelled at him. "Good luck trying to fend for yourself when you realize you're all alone!" 

"Have a nice life, Eiko," Akaashi said without turning around, and then left the room. He pulled out a pen and wrote on his arm and then ran. He wanted to get to the meeting spot soon so they wouldn't leave.

-

"He's coming? He really is?!" Kenma asked. He still couldn't stand but he was less tired now. 

"That's what he said. He said to stay here that he's coming." Bokuto nodded. 

"So then he was able to get away from the boyfriend." Kuroo smiled to himself. "He sounds strong, I'm excited to meet him." 

"And he's okay with me being here!" Bokuto jumped up and down excitedly. 

"Calm down. Even if he was able to get away from Eiko, I doubt he'd feel okay enough to deal with you being over excited." Kenma told him with a frown. 

"Um, actually, just be yourself?" A voice said softly from the doorway of the bathroom. 

"I know that voice...!" Kenma finally found his strength and jumped up to go see his friend. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't know he'd be getting back early. I wouldn't have brought up your soulmate if I knew that." 

"Calm down, Kozume. It's okay." Akaashi said with a soothing voice. 

"Wait, why are you comforting me? Come on and sit, I know it's a bathroom but it's never used so the floor is clean." Kenma held out his hand for Akaashi to take but quickly put it down when he flinched. "Sorry.." 

"No, it's um, it's okay." Akaashi pulled his sleeves over his hands and walked behind Kenma to go sit with the two other males waiting for them. 

"So, this is my soulmate and boyfriend, Kuroo Tetsurou. He's a year older than us and is a business major." 

"It's a pleasure to meet you Akaashi Keiji." Kuroo smiled. "I have not heard plenty about you. It's kind of sad really." 

"It's nice to meet you." Akaashi laughed.

"And this is-" Kenma stopped talking. "Akaashi can I touch your head?" He asked suddenly. 

"W-what?" 

"I think you're bleeding. Can I take a look?" 

"Oh, uh, sure?" Akaashi bent his head down a bit to let Kenma look at it. 

"It doesn't look too bad." Kenma brushed his finger over the blood and noticed that it was dry. "It's dried blood. What happened?" 

"N-nothing serious." Akaashi lifted his head and played with his sleeves. 

"Was it him?" 

"What? Wh-who?" Akaashi glanced up at the piercing yellow eyes that were looking at him. They were strong, but they held compassion and love, so they were soft as well. 

"Oh right, this is Bokuto Kotarou, he's a social work major. Kuroo's best friend, and your soulmate." Kenma finally finished the introductions. 

"It's really nice to meet you." Bokuto slowly extended his hand to Akaashi so that he wouldn't scare him, and smiled. 

"Y-you too." Akaashi smiled back and met Bokuto's hand halfway with a small, half-hearted shake. "I apologize if writing you those messages worried you." He muttered. 

"Don't worry about it. I worry about my friends, it's what I do." Bokuto laughed. 

"F-friend? I'm your, friend?" 

"Well sure you are! At least, I'd like you to be. I wanna get to know my soulmate." Bokuto's voice faded out as Akaashi looked away from him. He knew it wasn't going to be easy to get this person to open up, especially after being in the type of relationship he was just in, but it was also pretty discouraging when he wouldn't even look Bokuto in the eye. 

"Uh," Kenma spoke up to get rid of the weird tension that was suddenly hanging over them all. "I'm going to call Shouyo. He wanted me to tell him when you got here, Akaashi." He stood up with an awkward smile. 

"Keiji." 

"What?" Kenma stopped. 

"We've finally met in person, right? You can call me Keiji now." Akaashi looked up at Kenma with a small smile. 

"Right." Kenma laughed. "Keiji." It was nice seeing Akaashi joke and laugh. There was still that concern in the back of his head that Eiko will come after Akaashi, but he's safe for now and that's all Kenma has ever wanted for him. 

"So, what do you major in?" Kuroo felt so awkward being left in the middle of Akaashi and Bokuto that he resorted to small talk. 

"Um, I don't actually like to tell people that." Akaashi focused on fiddling with a loose string that was coming from his sleeve. 

"That's fine!"

"It is?" He asked hesitantly. 

"Yeah, man. I've known plenty of people who don't like telling their major. You do you." 

"S-so then, you're a business major?" Akaashi hated small talk, but he hated awkward silences even more. 

"Yep! And Bo here is a social work major, as Kenma told you already." Kuroo nudged Bokuto's arm. "We're both busy because it's our last year but this guy needs to study or he'll have another one." 

"Oh shut it, I told you I passed that test!" Bokuto hit Kuroo's arm and the two of them laughed. 

"Only because I helped you study last night. I refused to let you sleep unless you could answer all those questions." 

"You're so mean to me," Bokuto whined causing Kuroo to laugh some more. 

Akaashi chuckled lightly at the two. They were odd, yet very interesting and entertaining. 

"Oh, hey Akaashi, where are you going to be staying tonight?" Bokuto finally calmed down and asked. 

"Oh uh," He wasn't actually sure. He didn't have anywhere else to go. Maybe Eiko was right, maybe he really was all alo-

"He'll be staying with me obviously." Kenma walked over to them and crossed his arms. 

"What?" Akaashi looked up at Kenma with shock and confusion written all over his face. "Are you serious?" 

"Of course I am. I can't have you wandering around campus at night. And anyway, I live in my apartment alone, a little company would be great."

"Kenma! You want company?!" 

"Not you though." Kenma shot down Kuroo before he could even really get started. 

"Let's go, Bo, we're clearly not wanted here." Kuroo sighed sadly and stood up slowly. 

"Bro, what'd you do to piss him off?" Bokuto asked as he too stood up. 

"I didn't do anything!" Kuroo punched Bokuto's arm. "I didn't do anything, right Kitten?" He turned to look at Kenma seeking confirmation, suddenly doubting it himself.

"No, Kuroo. You didn't do anything to piss me off." Kenma sighed. 

"See! I told you!" 

"Just go back to your dorm. I'll see you tomorrow, Kuroo." Kenma kissed a stunned Kuroo's cheek and then turned away from him to hide the small blush on his face. It still shocked him sometimes that he was so willing to be all cutesy with Kuroo. 

Bokuto told the two goodnight and then had to practically drag a swooning Kuroo out of the bathroom and back to their dorm. It was going to be a very long walk. 

"Your friends are interesting," Akaashi said when it was just the two of them left. 

"They're something." Kenma smiled fondly. "Here, we should go, it's pretty late." He slowly stretched out his hand for Akaashi to take. 

"I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble." Akaashi apologized as he stood up. Keeping Kenma out late, worrying him, imposing on his home. He was doing a great job at first in-person impressions, wasn't he?

"You're no trouble. I'm just glad you're out of that situation." Kenma shook his head. 

"Right.." Akaashi wouldn't meet his eye as he felt tears well up. It felt so good to be worried over by a friend. He hadn't felt the love of a friend in so long he almost forgot what it was. 

"Come on now, let's go. I have an empty room you can stay in for as long as you want." He finally got his friend out of his abusive relationship, but there was so much more he needed to do for him. One of those was to give him a home without actually telling him it was his new home. He'd let Akaashi bring it up, it would mean more for both of them that way. 

.

"Kuroo, did I mess it up with him tonight?" Bokuto asked from his bed. When the two had gotten back to their dorm they were both so mentally exhausted that they just went to bed. "I know he probably won't be for a while, but he seemed uncomfortable around me." He said sadly. All he wanted was to be there for Akaashi, his soulmate. 

"I don't think you messed anything up." Kuroo rolled to face Bokuto whose bed was against the opposite wall. 

"He seemed okay with you, though." Bokuto pointed out. 

"Hey, I could be wrong but, I think Akaashi is trying to keep his distance from you for the time being." Kuroo sighed. "And you can't really blame him. He just left his ex, who was abusive, like just left him tonight. Just give him some time, Bo." 

"Yeah, you're right.." 

"Isn't this what you're studying or something?!" Kuroo suddenly sat up. "This explains why you're barely passing your classes!" He accused. 

"Aahh no more school talk," Bokuto whined and threw a pillow at Kuroo's face. "Just go to sleep already." He pulled his blanket over his shoulders and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to overtake him. 

"You started the freaking conversation," Kuroo muttered and lied back down.

Sleeping didn't come too easily for him though. He was worried about Akaashi, worried about Bokuto, worried about Akaashi AND Bokuto. His brain just wouldn't shut off. He wanted to help, but he honestly had no idea how to approach a situation like this. He'd never had to deal with anything even remotely similar. Like it was said, his brain wouldn't shut off. 

. 

"Can I please just go see him?" Bokuto pleaded with Kenma for at least the fourth time that afternoon. It had been a couple of weeks since Akaashi had started living with Kenma and needless to say, Bokuto was getting just a bit restless. 

"No, I already told you that you can't today. He's not even at the apartment right now." Kenma rolled his eyes. He swears everything he tells this man just goes in one ear and out the other. 

"Where is he? Does he need someone to pick him up? I can drive ya know." Bokuto hadn't been able to see Akaashi since the night he got away from his ex, they've been texting periodically, but it's not the same. 

"Bro, calm the fuck down." Kuroo put a hand on Bokuto's shoulder. "Kenma already told us he was going to a doctor's appointment today. And anyways, even if you can drive absolutely no one wants to be in the car with you as you do." 

"Rude." Bokuto pouted. "Why was he going to a doctor anyway?" 

"Um, as his best friend, I do not think that's something I can just tell you." Kenma frowned. He refused to violate Akaashi's privacy unless absolutely necessary like when he told Bokuto and Kuroo about Eiko. He just did not want to lose the trust he had been working to build up. 

"Right, that's right." Bokuto nodded and muttered more so to himself than Kenma. "How has he been doing though? He seems okay over text but is he okay in person too?" 

"I think he seems to be adjusting fairly well. What do you think, Kenma?" Kuroo said as he thought about Akaashi. 

"Yeah, he's having some trouble of course, but he's trying really hard." Kenma agreed. 

"Wait, Kuroo, are you trying to say that you've seen him?!" Bokuto's head snapped up and he glared at his best friend. "You and your stupid bedhead get to see him and I don't?!" 

"Um, wow, okay, first of all, low blow man." Kuroo used his hands to try and push down his hair but it would just bounce back up. "And second, yes. Kenma is my boyfriend, I do go over to his apartment. It's only natural I see Akaashi too." 

Bokuto froze for a moment as he thought about everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. He wanted to find a way to get closer to Akaashi. 

"Oh my god, I can almost see the wheels turning in his head," Kuroo muffled his laughter. "What do you think he's thinking about so hard that smoke is almost coming out of his ears?" He whispered to Kenma. 

"You had better not be thinking about coming over today, Bokuto. Today would be the absolute worst time for you to come over." When Bokuto didn't even acknowledge him Kenma crossed his arms. "I'm being serious here, Kotarou." His tone was almost threatening and even Kuroo subconsciously took a step back away from Kenma. 

At the use of his first name, Bokuto looked up, finally acknowledging the fact that Kenma was pretty much threatening him to stay away from his apartment. 

"No! No, I promise I'm not thinking of going over there!" He put his hands in front of him. "All I'm thinking about is how to make him feel more comfortable with me. Should I keep our relationship over text right now? Should I be the one to put forth an effort? Or should I just let it go all together and wait for him to make the first move when he's comfortable enough with me to do so? That's all I'm thinking about, I swear." 

"Oh, I-" Kenma wasn't too sure what to say to that. He never actually expected Bokuto to be thinking about stuff like that. He had just assumed the overbearing owl-looking man just wanted to push his relationship with Akaashi because he was impatient and wanted to be with his soulmate. 

"I just, I really want to help him right now. I want him to let me in. But I also know that I can't force it. He'll come to me himself when he's ready." Despite knowing all of this, it still weighed heavily on Bokuto that he couldn't do anything for his soulmate. He always had a small feeling that he would need to know how to help someone in a dire situation which is why he became a social work major. He just never thought it would be this hard to keep himself from forcing himself into the situation to help them. 

"I have to go pick him up right now," Kenma looked at his phone to check the time. "But, just so you know, he was at a therapy session." Bokuto looked at Kenma with wide eyes and was about to say something before Kenma interrupted him. "I'm just telling you because I think you deserve to know that he's trying too. Give him time, but please meet him halfway when he's ready. He deserves that much at least." 

"Of course!" Bokuto nodded wildly. "Thank you, for telling me."

"Yeah, sure." Kenma nodded and smiled. "I'll talk to you later, Bokuto. And you," Kenma kissed Kuroo's cheek. "I will be expecting you later for our at-home dinner date." He smiled softly. 

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Kuroo melted at the look Kenma was giving him. "I love you." He waved as Kenma walked away to go pick up Akaashi. "Bo," Kuroo said when the two were left alone. "Is it too soon to ask him to marry me?" 

"Oh my god, you're hopeless." 

"Hopelessly in love." Kuroo pointed, making Bokuto laugh. 

"Hopelessly an idiot," Bokuto added, earning a smack from Kuroo.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Oh shut it. Let's go you hopeless romantic." Bokuto just grabbed Kuroo's arm and pulled him back to their dorm. 

.

.

"Hey, how was it?" Kenma asked once the passenger side door of his car had been shut. 

"It was fine." Is all Akaashi said as he leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. 

Kenma knew that going to therapy was very draining for Akaashi. Even if he would never say that directly, the distant look in his eyes and his short answers said all that he needed. Kenma felt horrible every time he would pick his friend up from a session but he also knew he was not forcing him to go; Akaashi had decided to go to therapy all on his own. 

Akaashi opened one eye and just saw Kenma staring straight ahead but the car wasn't moving an inch. "Are we going back, or?" He let the rest of his question die out when he saw Kenma's hands slightly shaking as he clutched the steering wheel. "Are you okay?" He sat up and leaned over to gently pry the small hands away from the wheel. 

"You'd tell me if I could do anything more for you, wouldn't you?" Kenma grasped onto Akaashi's hands with his own and held them tightly. 

"Yeah, of course, I would." Akaashi nodded. To be completely honest, he wasn't too sure he really would, but if it would make Kenma feel better then he would absolutely lie. He felt guilty lying to someone who was working to fix his life around someone he barely knew but he didn't want to get into the truth right this second. 

"I hope you know that you can always be honest with me. I won't pry." Kenma let go of Akaashi's hands and put them back on the wheel but this time he actually started the car. 

It was a simple sentence, one that really almost any friend would say, but for Akaashi it meant trust. Trust that he hadn't felt in a long time. Eiko never trusted him, not even his own parents did, but here Kenma was completely trusting and giving his trust over to Akaashi. 

"I know," Akaashi said softly and laid his head back against the headrest. It was so different and it felt odd to have someone care so much about him, but it felt really nice to be trusted, and he couldn't deny that. 

.

"Hey, Akaashi!" Kuroo waved and walked into the apartment. "Sorry to interrupt you guys." He laughed as Kenma sat up begrudgingly from where he was nestled up to Akaashi's side where they were sitting to watch a movie. 

"Ugh, you could've knocked or something you know." Kenma yawned and stretched out his limbs. "It was just getting to the good part." He sighed and relaxed his body. 

"I'm sorry, Kitten," Kuroo laughed and wrapped his long arms around Kenma's small waist. "But you would've told me to go away if I did that. And the food I brought will get cold if I wait any longer." He rubbed his nose against the other's and smiled fondly. "And I'm cold too so stop cuddling with Akaashi and come cuddle with me." 

"But Keiji gives the best cuddles." Kenma smiled up at Kuroo, a teasing glint in his eye. "He's warm and puts his arm around my shoulders and holds me close and-" 

"Stop it already!" Kuroo whined. "I'm gonna get jealous if you keep going." He stepped away from Kenma and crossed his arms. 

"Oh I'm sorry, Honey, would you like to cuddle too?" Kenma asked, his voice betraying the innocence of his question. 

"Of course I would." Kuroo huffed. 

"Then come on. I'm sure Keiji wouldn't mind having someone on his other side." He smirked and sat back down to lean against Akaashi's shoulder. 

"You're so mean to me." Kuroo cried out and flopped down next to Kenma who shoved his knees into Kuroo's back. 

"Should I call Bokuto over and just make this a party?" Akaashi asked awkwardly. "Or should I just leave?" 

"Aah, I'm sorry!" Kenma shoved Kuroo off of him and sat up away from Akaashi. "Did we make you uncomfortable?" He asked worriedly, his fun and joking persona was quickly replaced with concern. 

"No!" Akaashi shook his head. "That's not what I meant at all!" 'Good job at ruining the mood.' He mentally slapped himself. He really needed to work on timing and phrasing. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to be alone or if you wanted the other one of your group over? Sorry to ruin the moment." He looked away, making eye contact with either Kuroo or Kenma right now would probably make him spiral. 

"Haha, well I did come over for a date but I think we should just make this a group thing at this point." Kuroo laughed. He had such a perfect way of making anyone and everyone feel comfortable, even if they just fucked up and ruined a good mood. He always knew just what to say. 

"Yeah," Kenma nodded, picking up on the fact Kuroo was trying to get away from the subject. "We might as well just call Bokuto over. Dinner is getting cold right? We can watch the movie Keiji and I started and eat the food you brought." He suggested. 

"Sounds great to me!" The door burst open and Bokuto bounced over to his friends. 

"Why are you here?!" Kenma hissed and stood up. He may have been the one to just suggest calling Bokuto over but he had literally just told this man earlier in the day that he couldn't come over today and what does he do? Comes over, uninvited! 

"Ah," Bokuto understood why Kenma was so pissed, he did come over unannounced after being told he couldn't, but he also had a legitimate reason for being there. "Well, Kuroo left this little box in our dorm and I know he brought it up earlier to me so I thought he might want it for-" 

"Shut. Up." Kuroo slapped his hand over Bokuto's mouth and glared at him. This was the absolute worst timing. 

"Little box?" Kenma had started to calm down a bit but now his curiosity was piqued. 

"It's NOTHING." He glared at Bokuto to make sure he got his point across. Sure he brought it up earlier but there were a few things he needed to do before he could ask Kenma something like that. It just wasn't the right time. 

"Yeah, sure it is," Kenma smirked knowingly. He had a pretty good idea of what this "little box" was, but he wanted it to be Kuroo's choice to bring it up. He didn't want it any other way.

"Bokuto, would you like to help me set out stuff for dinner?" Akaashi broke the awkward silence that had fallen over the group. He stood up and waited until a stunned Bokuto had finally shaken himself free of the weird tension and followed Akaashi to the kitchen. "What was that about exactly?" Akaashi asked when they were alone. The others seemed to know what was up but he was seriously so lost. 

"Oh, uh," Bokuto laughed nervously. This was his first time being alone with Akaashi and he wasn't quite sure how to move forward. Sure, they had been talking for as long as Akaashi had been living with Kenma, but that was only over text. The two have not had a proper face-to-face conversation since the first night they met. He wanted to really get to know his soulmate, but he also didn't want to say the wrong thing or scare him off. He just didn't want to come off as too strong. 

"Bokuto?" Akaashi waved his hand in front of Bokuto's face to draw him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay? If you want to just go back to your dorm I can tell them you're sick or something." He offered with a small smile. If Bokuto was scared he would say the wrong thing, Akaashi was beyond anxious he would do the wrong thing. He's always had to be very aware of what he did around anyone in his life, and with someone he wants to actually be close with, it just makes his anxiety about messing up worse. Kenma is an exception, they've already had a few deep conversations about boundaries and communication, so he's at least a little better there. 

"Ah, no, I'm fine!" Bokuto quickly snapped out of his thoughts. "Let's just grab some plates, yeah?" He suggested with a smile that was just a little bit too nervous for someone like Bokuto Kotarou. 

"Yeah, sure." Akaashi nodded. 'I had to have messed up with him somewhere.' He thought sadly. The one thing he didn't want to do, mess things up with his soulmate, and he probably just did. 

The two walked back to the living room with quite a bit of distance between them. Bokuto, someone who would normally treat everyone he ever comes in contact with like his best friend was consciously holding his arms closer to his side so they didn't even have a chance at brushing against Akaashi. 

“This does not look so good…” Kuroo whispered to Kenma as he watched the two walk together but not together at all. "What do you think happened?" 

"I bet Bokuto said something dumb and made it awkward." Kenma rolled his eyes. 

"Wow, you have absolutely no faith in my best friend, do you?" Kuroo chuckled. He knew something was more wrong than what Kenma suggested, but he also knew better than to really get into it right then. 

"Nope, none at all." Kenma shook his head. He actually had more faith in Bokuto than Akaashi at this moment though. Bokuto has this weird special gift where he can make almost any person feel comfortable. But for someone like Akaashi who is so hyper-aware of his own presence, it's a bit harder to make him comfortable. 

“Let’s just, let’s eat and watch this movie.” Akaashi glanced at the couch and sighed lightly before walking over to the chair that was beside it. The couch could only fit about three people and there was no way he was going to take a spot away from the other three. They were already friends, he was just an outsider. They didn’t really know him, they didn’t have to force themselves to like him. They didn’t have to-

“Hey, Akaashi, come sit on the couch!” Bokuto had already shaken off the awkwardness from a moment ago, something everyone was jealous of him being able to do. “You were sitting with Kenma before Kuroo and I got here, right? I’ll take the chair so you can have your spot back.” He offered with a wide smile. “I’ll probably fall asleep watching the movie anyway and I don’t think these guys want me to drool on them again.” He laughed. 

“Mm, true, go sit over there.” Kenma kicked Bokuto away from the couch with his foot. “Come here, Keiji.” Kenma opened his arms and invited Akaashi back over to the open space beside him. 

“A-are you sure?” He asked hesitantly. He didn’t want these guys to push themselves to accept him into their group. 

“Yeah man, come on!” Kuroo waved him over. “I’ll start the movie only after you sit down with us.”

Akaashi nodded and switched places with Bokuto who gave him a passing smile. Once everyone was settled into their seats Kuroo started the movie. Kuroo had wrapped his arms around Kenma’s smaller body and was holding him close, completely ignoring the food he brought in favor of cuddling his boyfriend. Akaashi was picking at the food on his plate, he didn’t really feel up to eating anything, he felt too guilty. Kenma was perfectly content being squished between Kuroo and Akaashi whose body heat had started to already make him sleepy. Bokuto was happily sitting on the chair with his legs crossed. He would glance over at Akaashi every so often and his smile would disappear when he saw the food still left on his plate, but he wouldn’t say anything, he couldn’t butt in like that. 

After a while, Kenma and Kuroo had ended up asleep against each other. They had started to kiss in the middle of the movie but Bokuto immediately put a stop to that by throwing a pillow at them. Said pillow was now being used as a prop for Kuroo to lean against Kenma which is where he was now sound asleep. 

“If you want to go to sleep, I can turn off the movie,” Bokuto whispered to Akaashi. He would feel guilty if he was the only one who still wanted to watch it and was just keeping someone awake. 

“No, I’m fine,” Akaashi whispered back. He didn’t want to admit it but he has a hard time sleeping, especially around others. Despite knowing no one in the room would ever hurt him, he was just not to the point where he felt comfortable enough risking it. 

The two sat in silence for another half hour while the movie finished up. Once the credits started to roll, Bokuto stood up and stretched. He looked over at Akaashi and saw that his eyes were closed but his eyebrows were knit closely together. He almost looked like he was in pain. 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto whispered but got no reply. “Akaashi,” He got a bit closer, being careful to not wake up Kuroo and Kenma in the process. “Hey, are you okay?” He lightly tapped Akaashi’s shoulder. 

Akaashi’s eyes flew open at the feeling and he looked around the room wildly. He started to struggle under the weight of Kenma who had Kuroo on top of him. “Please get them off of me.” He pleaded with Bokuto when his eyes finally landed on the shocked man standing beside him. 

“Right, sure.” Bokuto nodded. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on but he did as he was asked and gently lifted Kenma up enough for Akaashi to slip out from under him, which he did quickly as soon as he could. “Are you okay?” Bokuto asked softly when Akaashi was finally standing. 

“Yeah, I-I’m fine. I am okay.” Akaashi was slightly shaking and his voice was wavering as he said this but his eyes were asking Bokuto to please not press, which he of course complied with. “I’m just going to go to my room.” He took a deep breath to settle his fast beating heart. 

“Yeah, yeah of course, okay.” Bokuto smiled. He knew the signs of a panic attack, he was close enough with Kenma to recognize them. He made his voice soft and low and his smile friendly but not overbearing so that Akaashi would know he was safe with him. “Do you like tea?” He asked. 

Akaashi took a second to respond as the question seemed to come out of nowhere. “Yeah.” He eventually nodded. 

“Great! If I know Kenma he should have some good tea somewhere so I’ll leave a cup outside your door in a bit.”

“Why are,” Akaashi’s voice stopped Bokuto from walking away. “Why are you being so nice to me?” He asked. 

“Cause I want to be!” 

“What?” He couldn’t believe this. Someone he barely knew was being so nice to him just because he wants to be? No ulterior motives? No actual motive at all?

“Yeah! I mean, we’re friends right? It’s not weird to be nice to a friend is it?”

Akaashi didn’t have anything to say to that. _‘That’s right, we’re friends.’_ he told himself. ‘ _It’s nothing weird to care about your friends.’_

“Okay, go to your room already,” Bokuto shooed him away. “I’ll make your tea and knock on your door when it’s ready.”

Akaashi turned around. “Thank you, Bokuto.” He said softly, it was almost a whisper, and quickly walked to his room. 

“Alright! Time to tidy up and then leave.” He whisper yelled to motivate himself. He got a mug of lavender chamomile tea steeping and then cleaned up their dinner mess. Once the tea was done he left it in front of Akaashi’s door like he promised. It hurt his heart to not be able to do more than this for Akaashi, but he would not push it. He had to keep reminding himself that Akaashi would come to him when he was ready. 

Lastly, he covered his sleeping friends and turned off the lights. Leaving wasn't what he exactly wanted to do, especially not when Akaashi looked like he would cry any second, but he had an early class. If he stayed at the apartment he wouldn't sleep and would end up missing it. 

"Stupid class." He muttered angrily as he walked back to his dorm. "Stupid major. Stupid degree." He kept cursing his poor class as he got ready for bed and lied down. "Stupid heart." He frowned. His heart had started to beat wildly when he first saw Akaashi, and it didn't stop until right now when he was alone. He never believed others when they said they would feel butterflies in their stomach when they were around someone they liked but oh boy does he believe it now. It almost felt like he would throw up if he saw Akaashi again. But, it wasn't such a bad feeling when he thought about it…

-

"Hey, Kuroo." Akaashi lightly tapped Kuroo's shoulder to get his attention as the two walked together. When they woke up to be the only ones in the apartment they decided to just go together to pick up the other two who had 8 am classes. 

"What's up?" Kuroo yawned and stretched his arms as he continued walking across the campus. 

"Does Bokuto, does he force himself to like me?" Akaashi asked softly. 

"What?!" Kuroo stopped and spun around to face him. 

"Well, I mean," Akaashi started to fidget with his fingers and he looked around anxiously. "He was being really nice to me last night but I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with and I know I'm probably not the soulmate he wanted, or deserves, but-" 

"But nothing." Kuroo chuckled and sighed. "Look man, I know you think Bokuto doesn't like you, but you don't know him like I do. He's trying to be considerate of you." 

"C-considerate, of me?" 

"Yeah." Kuroo nodded. "When we first met you, you weren't the most open person. Not to say there's anything wrong with that of course! We all understand your circumstances. But Bo is a real sensitive guy and he can easily pick up on how others are feeling. He just didn't want to pressure you or anything." Kuroo explained. 

"That's not..." Akaashi trailed off. He wasn't quite sure exactly what he wanted to say. Eiko wasn't even the reason he was being distant with Bokuto. He truly believed a soulmate like him must feel more like a punishment than a gift. 

"He wants to get to know you, Akaashi. But Bo is the type of guy to wait until the other person is even more comfortable than him before he tries anything at all." Kuroo pat Akaashi's shoulder. "But don't just take my word for it, you should go talk to him yourself." 

"What?" 

Kuroo gently pushed Akaashi forward into the line of sight of a smiling Bokuto. 

"Wait-!" 

He was greeted with a big wave and a smile as Bokuto bounded towards him. 

"Hey hey hey!" Bokuto barely stopped himself before he crashed into Akaashi. "Sorry I left last night but I never would've gotten up at this god awful hour if I hadn't." Bokuto groaned. 

"That's, okay." Akaashi's voice was timid and he somehow made his tall presence seem small. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Bokuto asked.

"Can I ask you a question?" Akaashi could feel his legs start to shake. If he didn't ask this now while he had the courage to, then he never would. 

"Of course you can! I'm an open book!" Bokuto told him with a smile. He felt uneasy though, despite his confident smile. Akaashi had a strange effect on him. A simple word from the latter and suddenly his confidence in himself disappeared. 

"Do you," Akaashi looked back and saw that Kuroo had left already. "Haa.." he sighed and turned to face Bokuto. "Do you actually like me or are you forcing yourself to be nice to me?" He asked quickly. 

Bokuto's eyes shot wide open and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. 

"If you are just being nice to me because I'm your soulmate, then I don't want your kindness. I've never had friends before, Bokuto. I don't want to start with fake ones." Once he started talking he found it difficult to stop. He refused to let _all_ of his insecurities surface, but a few wouldn't hurt, right? "Please don't make me a burden."

"A burden? Fake friend?! Akaashi! I genuinely want to be your friend." Bokuto looked him straight in the eye. "I would want to be your friend even if you weren't my soulmate." 

"I told you they’d still be here." Kuroo's voice could be heard in the distance but Bokuto and Akaashi wouldn't let go of the other’s gaze. 

"I’m not lying to you, I’m not forcing myself, I could never see you as a burden. If I did something to make you think otherwise, please tell me so I can fix it!" Bokuto was getting a bit desperate by this point. The last thing he wanted was for Akaashi to leave him. He finally had his soulmate within his grasp and all he wanted was to keep him there. "I promise that all I want is to be there for you." He just wants to protect him. 

"Bo, calm down a bit." Kuroo, who had quickly gotten closer, slung his arm around Bokuto's shoulders. "You’re overwhelming him." He whispered in his ear. 

Bokuto focused on the scene in front of him and saw Kenma, who he didn't even know was there till right now, grabbing onto Akaashi's arm and starting to guide him away. 

"Wait! I'm sorry!" Bokuto shrugged off Kuroo's arm and reached out towards Akaashi. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you! Please don't go." If he went now, Bokuto wasn't sure he'd ever get a second chance to fix this. 

"Bokuto, just stop alre-" 

"It's okay, Kozume." Akaashi smiled at Kenma and walked back towards Bokuto. "I started this conversation, it’s only right I don't leave until we're done." He faced Bokuto with a soft smile. "It wasn't fair of me to say those things. I would be honored if you wanted to show me kindness. And I am sorry that I implied you saw me as a burden. I tend to assume things like that but I should not have brought it up." 

"No, no, no." Bokuto shook his head. "I want you to always be honest with me. Be brutally honest. Be open with me. Just be yourself. Nothing you say will make me turn away from you." He promised him. The previous desperation in his voice had given way to sincerity. He meant every word and he'd be damned if Akaashi didn't know by the time he was done. 

"That's…" Akaashi couldn't find the right words to respond to that. What could he even say to something like that? Never once in his life had he ever been told something like that. Was it something Bokuto learned in his classes? Was he just genuinely that naive? But if it was just that, why did it make Akaashi's heart flutter..?

"A bit much, right?" Bokuto finished Akaashi's thought with a nervous laugh. "I really am sorry if I came on too strong. That's the one thing I did not want to do with you." He sighed. "I meant every word though." 

"Let's just," Akaashi held out his hand. "Let's get to know each other slowly, okay?" He asked softly, suddenly very aware of the prying sets of eyes scattered throughout the campus. This is one conversation he did not want to be having in the view of others. 

"Okay!" Bokuto cheered up almost immediately and grabbed Akaashi's outstretched hand to shake it. "I can do slowly. Just you watch!" He winked and smiled when Akaashi giggled behind his other hand. "You shouldn't cover your smile." He whispered and let go of Akaashi's hand. 

"W-what?" Akaashi's hand dropped and he could feel tingles where Bokuto had been touching it. 

"That was so awkward." Kuroo said from behind them. "Don't get me wrong, it was kinda really cute, but sooo awkward." 

"Oh shut up." Kenma punched his shoulder. "Are you two okay to leave now?" He asked. 

.

"Akaashi, you can't just let him keep your stuff hostage!" Hinata flopped onto the couch next to Kenma. He had come over to the apartment to play games with his two friends for the first time in person, only to find out Eiko still had Akaashi's computer and gaming console in his dorm. 

"Hostage? Hinata that's a bit much…" Akaashi paced the room with a frown. Despite saying that, it wasn't too far off. Eiko refused to hand over Akaashi’s stuff. 

"Let's think about this rationally." Kenma butted in. He couldn't let Hinata get too out of hand. "Shouyo, how about you and I go to the dorm and see if-" 

"No!" Akaashi yelled. He stopped pacing and stood right in front of Kenma and Hinata. 

"Keiji, I thought the therapy was helping yo-" Kenma tried to speak softly and was interrupted again. 

"No, okay? It is helping, a lot, but no one I know is going to speak to him. Please." Akaashi was practically begging at this point. He was terrified that Eiko would retaliate if someone who was his friend would confront him. 

"Okay, okay. I get it. Neither of us will talk to him. We promise." Hinata smiled. He hadn't been around Akaashi much since he got away from Eiko, but like Kenma he was able to witness some of the things that would happen. Kageyama had to talk him into therapy too because the guilt over being unable to help his friend was too much. 

"Thank you." Akaashi breathed out and sat down in between Hinata and Kenma who moved to make room for him. "Let’s just do something else." He said. 

"How about we go shopping?" Kenma offered suddenly. 

"What?!" Hinata whipped his head around to look at Kenma incredulously. " _You_ want to go _shopping_?" 

"Well, no. I still have social anxiety, Shouyo. I don’t _want_ to go shopping. But I thought we could help Keiji pick out a new laptop at least. He needs one for school." He shrugged. 

"We won’t have to confront him though, right?” Akaashi asked.

“No, we won’t have to confront him,” Kenma confirmed. 

“Okay, if you’re sure. I’m okay with that.” Akaashi stood up. “And I really could use a laptop for school.”

“You should see if you can take some time off. Talk to the dean, or your favorite professor or something.” Hinata said in passing as he followed Kenma and Akaashi to the door. “These are extenuating circumstances or something, right?” 

“I can’t believe you know that word.” Kenma acted surprised. 

“Rude! I am only a year younger than you! I’m a communications major, not a child.” Hinata pouted. 

“Yes, yes, I know Shouyo. Come on.” Kenma opened the door and laughed as Hinata just pouted and walked out of the door. “Eh, he’ll get over it.” he closed the door and shrugged at Akaashi who was also laughing but he was covering his smile with his hand. 

“I can’t believe we were just eavesdropping. Kuroo, this is so not the way for me to get closer with him.” Bokuto walked out from behind Kenma’s bedroom door. 

“He knew I was here, it’s Kenma’s own fault for thinking I wouldn’t listen in.”

“Yes, that’s all well and good and between you guys, but you snuck me in through his window. Kuroo, that is so not okay.” Bokuto crossed his arms. “I’ve been trying for a month now to make sure I can connect with Akaashi, if he knew I just heard all of that he wouldn’t talk to me again.”

“Oh, don’t be acting all high and mighty on me now, Bo.” Kuroo pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Hi, is this campus security? Yes, hello, my name is Kuroo Tetsurou, I am in my fourth year. I need to go to someone’s dorm to get back some stuff they’re keeping from my friend but he is violent. I was hoping I could have someone escort me.” 

“Dude!” Bokuto hissed. He couldn’t believe this was happening. They had both just heard Akaashi strongly express his desire for none of his friends to confront Eiko.

“Shh.” Kuroo shushed him. “Oh, yes, that would be great. His name is Eiko and he has a history of abuse.” Kuroo resumed his call. “Yes, any time this afternoon would be great. Yes, thank you so much. I’ll meet you in front of his dorm in a half hour then. Thank you.” And with that, he hung up. “There, it’s settled.” Kuroo put away his phone and moved towards the door to leave the apartment. 

“What did you just do?!” Bokuto quickly followed after him. 

“I’m taking care of it. Apparently, that asshole already has some complaints against him on file so I’m going to meet someone from campus security outside his dorm.”

“Kuroo-!”

“Oh chill, I’m not doing anything too dumb. I’m just getting back Akaashi's stuff. Because of the complaints already against him, Akaashi doesn’t even need to know that I set it up.” 

“This is insane, we literally just heard him tell Kenma and Hinata that he doesn’t want any of his friends to confront Eiko. We’re included in that!”

“Exactly, I’m his friend. You know better than anyone that I take care of my friends, Bo.”

"You just ignored the rest of what I said." Bokuto sighed. He knew it was pointless to try and change Kuroo's mind. 

"Shh, it'll be okay, Bo. Just go back to the dorm. No one even needs to know you were here." Kuroo opened the door. "No one needs to know you were involved at all." He said without turning back. He would do anything for his friends, especially a friend who had been hurt. No one could talk him out of it. But the least he could do is keep his best friend from being his accomplice. 

"I can't believe this…" Bokuto paced the room after Kuroo left, debating on what he should do now. Eventually he decided on just going back to his dorm. It was better than being at the apartment when the other three got back. 

.

"So?" Bokuto asked as soon as Kuroo walked into their dorm room. 

"Nothing was fucking there!" Kuroo threw his jacket onto his bed with force fueled by frustration. "The asshole must've gotten rid of Akaashi's things before he could come looking for it." 

Bokuto tried to ignore the burning anger twisting up through his body. If he acknowledged the hate he felt, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. 

"Campus security brought up the complaints against him and gave him a warning before they had me leave. Oohh if I could've just gotten my hands on his smug little ass I would've-" Kuroo stopped before he dug himself too deep into his anger. "Ugh. I hate him." He finally settled on before flopping onto his bed and closing his eyes. 

“Don’t we all.” Bokuto agreed.

“I’m gonna propose to Kenma next week.” Kuroo suddenly said.

“Okay, one, bro, that is totally not the vibe we just had going. Two, oh my god! Are you really?!” 

“Yeah, well, rather sooner than later. I really love him, man. And I need him to know it too.”

.

Kuroo took a deep breath and tapped Kenma’s shoulder. If he was going to do this, he had to do it now before he lost his nerve. Who cares about friend’s asshole exes and hiding the fact that he completely went against Akaashi’s wishes? Right now it was just him and Kenma. Right here and right now is where he knew he had to ask. There was never going to be that “perfect time”, there was only the now. 

Kenma turned around to see Kuroo down on one knee in front of him. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight. 

“Hey you.” Kuroo smirked up at him, trying to hide the panic that was directly behind his eyes. 

“Oh god, Kuroo what are you-“

“Ah ah. Not another word,” Kuroo interrupted him. “And wipe that look off of your face while you’re at it, I know that you’re probably going to kill me later for doing this in public but I’ve already prepared myself for that and I honestly don’t care. I can’t go another minute without doing this, without being one day closer to the rest of our lives.” Kuroo pulled out the little box he had been hiding and carrying around with him for the last month and a half. “Kenma Kozume, you make me so fucking happy. I didn’t know what it truly felt like to live and to love before I met you and that’s a feeling that I never want to let go of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you until we’re old and decrepit and our great-grandchildren are wheeling us around the nursing home. I want to fall asleep holding you every night for the rest of forever.” He opened the box to show the little silver ring that was tucked away inside. “Kenma, my love, will you make me the happiest man literally ever and marry me?” 

Kenma froze as he watched Kuroo start to fidget with the box. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening right now. He knew Kuroo was planning on doing this eventually, but doing it right then in the middle of the hallway between their two classes was insane, even for him. 

“K-Kenma?” Kuroo asked weakly. Not getting a response after that was nerve-wracking. He couldn’t help but think that maybe it was too soon. They’ve always been together but they haven’t actually been _together_ for too long. Maybe Bokuto was wrong, maybe it was too soon for this. “You don’t have to answer now, we should just go.” He stood up awkwardly. 

“No, wait, I’m sorry,” Kenma walked back towards Kuroo and held his face in his hands. “I was just shocked, that’s all.” He explained. “Asking here of all places threw me off.”

“So, is that a no?” Kuroo asked, trying to hide his disappointment. 

“What?! No?? Kuroo, who do you think I am?” Kenma pulled Kuroo’s face towards him and kissed his nose. “My answer is yes, you jerk.” 

“Wait, really?!” Kuroo’s eyes opened wide and he put his own hands over Kenma’s, which were still cupping his face. 

“Yes, really. I will marry you.” Kenma could feel himself start to choke up from saying those words. 

“You’ll marry me, oh my god you’ll actually marry me.” Kuroo muttered to himself, it was almost unbelievable. 

“Now, let’s go. People are staring.” Kenma glanced around them and pulled his hair closer to his face to hide it. 

“Okay!” Kuroo said happily and grabbed Kenma’s hands, swinging them as they walked back to the apartment. 

“So, does this mean I can finally move in with you here?” Kuroo asked once they got back. 

“Kuroo, I swear to god if you asked me to marry you just so you could live in my apartment I will change my answer.” Kenma threatened. 

“Ah! No! I promise that wasn’t my plan!” He put up his hands. “But…” He raised an eyebrow. “Bo was going to confess to Akaashi today too so maybe, if you’ll let him of course, maybe he can move in too?” Before Kenma could say anything, Kuroo added: “Cause I can’t just leave my best friend in that lame ass dorm room by himself.” 

“Oh my god, fucking fine.” Kenma threw his arms in the air, his new engagement ring catching the light. “You can move in now.”

“And Bo?” Kuroo asked, almost unable to contain his excitement. 

“I will leave that one up to Keiji.” Kenma told him. 

“I can live with that!” Kuroo cheered. “Now come on,” He grabbed Kenma’s hands again. “I think a celebration is in order.” His mischievous smirk that was exclusively used for Kenma made said boy’s heart skip a beat. 

“If you insist.” Kenma tried to seem nonchalant by rolling his eyes, but the bright red blush that was creeping its way up the back of his neck ruined his efforts.

-

"Kozume said you needed to see me?" Akaashi asked later that night as he walked over to Bokuto. 

"Uh, yeah! I wanted to see if you'd go somewhere with me?" Bokuto's usually confident voice was now shaky and unsure. 

"Are you okay?" It hadn’t been long, but ever since Kuroo had proposed to Kenma, Bokuto had been acting a bit strange with Akaashi. More distant. If he were being honest, it was starting to freak him out. 

"Yeah! I'm fine! I just have something I want to show you." Bokuto held out his hand. "Can I?" 

Akaashi hesitated only a moment before grabbing Bokuto's outstretched hand. "Of course." 

Bokuto smiled and started dragging him out of the apartment. His hands were shaking with anticipation and his head was pounding with excitement. He wasn't entirely sure how this would turn out, but he truly didn't care at this moment. 

"Oh wow." Akaashi breathed out as he looked up at the open sky. Bokuto had taken him to the side of a river and because of how clear the night sky was, he could see every single star that dotted the dark blue sky. “It’s so beautiful.” The stars made his normally dull blue eyes shine brightly as the sparkles danced across his vision. 

“Oh my god,” Bokuto clutched his heart. The sight in front of him was too beautiful for him, he couldn’t handle it. 

“Bokuto?” Akaashi turned to look at him. There was still a hint of the starlight dancing around his eyes as he looked wide eyed at Bokuto. He didn’t know why he was there, but being there with Bokuto under the stars was what he always imagined perfection felt like. 

Unable to contain himself any longer Bokuto pulled out his phone and quickly started to scroll. He silently cursed himself at the fact he was dumb enough to not prepare in advance. 

“Are you okay?” Akaashi asked softly. He didn’t want to pop the bubble of this perfect moment, but he was starting to get a bit worried about his companion. 

“Cheesy!” Is all Bokuto said which made Akaashi lift an eyebrow in response. “Oh,” Bokuto looked up from his phone. “What I meant was, I’m going to be cheesy. Can I?” 

“I-I guess?” Akaashi wasn’t sure where this was going. 

“Okay, so, ever since I met you I’ve felt like a missing piece of my life has finally been found. Everything in my heart finally feels connected. It feels whole.” Bokuto pulled his phone back up and pressed play on the song he finally found. 

“I-” Akaashi felt tears start to well up in his eyes when he heard what song had started to play. 

“You’ve become my sunshine, Akaashi. Everyday since I’ve met you has felt sunny and peaceful. I have pretty hard-hitting mood swings, but ever since you came into my life I haven’t felt down at all.” Bokuto put the phone down and let the song, _You Are my Sunshine_ , play in the background as he continued speaking. “I was going to sing this to you before I remembered I cannot, for the life of me, actually sing.” He chuckled. 

Akaashi let out a watery laugh. “Bokuto, why are you saying these things? And why this song?” 

“Well, I asked Kuroo and Kenma how I should do this and out of everything they told me, Kenma made sure to drill it into my head that this is your favorite song.”

“Do what, exactly? Bokuto, what is this?” Akaashi refused to get his hopes up. If this wasn’t what he thought it was he didn’t want to get upset over it. 

“Well, I know you’ve been doing really well in therapy and I heard from Kenma that you want to start putting yourself out there, and we’ve gotten pretty close as friends these past two months.” He paused and took a deep breath, he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. “What I want is to deepen our connection. I want our friendship to flourish and change into something more.” The end of the song started to play and Bokuto started to panic, he wanted to get everything out before the song ended. “I like you, Akaashi!” He said quickly and squeezed his eyes shut. As the song faded out, the silence that fell over the two was almost deafening. After a moment of the loudest silence ever, Bokuto slowly cracked opened an eye to see what was going on, only for both eyes to shoot wide open.

“Y-you, you. I-” Akaashi stuttered out in between silent sobs. 

“Ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m really sorry.” Bokuto picked up his phone and started to dial Kenma’s number. “I came on too strong. I’ll call Kenma to come pick you up.” 

“Wait, no.” Akaashi reached out and grabbed Bokuto’s phone, pulling it down and ending the call. 

“What are you-?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Akaashi backed up and looked away. “It is not an excuse, but I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” 

“He’s done a number on you, hasn’t he?” Bokuto stepped closer. “I would never hurt you, Akaashi. I promise.”

“Keiji.” Akaashi looked up and wiped away the stray tears still rolling down his cheeks. “You can call me Keiji.” 

“So then, does that mean…?” Bokuto didn’t need to finish his question as Akaashi held out his hands for Bokuto to hold. 

“I like you too,”

“Kotarou.”

Akaashi smiled softly and the sparkle in his eyes came back. “I like you too, Kotarou.” He blushed lightly as Bokuto’s smile kept growing. 

“We have got to go tell Kuroo and Kenma, oh my god!” Bokuto started running back to the apartment. He and Akaashi were laughing the whole way. 

.

"Are you giving me a flower?" Akaashi laughed as Bokuto, completely red-faced, held out a tulip. It had been another month and a half since Bokuto first confessed to Akaashi and well, this was a long time coming by this point.

"M-maybe." Bokuto stuttered out, his blush just getting worse. 

"You know, I quite like flowers." Bokuto's face lit up. "Specifically, I like to look into the meanings of flowers." Akaashi gently grabbed the stem and brought the flower to his face to smell. "Do you want to know what tulips mean?" 

"Do I?" Bokuto asked anxiously. Of course, he already knew what tulips meant in the language of flowers, but he never expected Akaashi to know too. 

"Tulips are a declaration of love, Bokuto." The tips of Akaashi's ears turned pink. "Is there something you want to tell me? Using our language, I mean." 

"W-well, um.." He didn’t quite know what to say to that. Does he tell Akaashi? He seems to be okay with it since he brought it up. But what if he's not? What if he gets scared or something? What if-? 

"Fine, how about this. I'll speak first." Akaashi sniffed the tulip again and smiled. "I think I'm falling for you, Bokuto." He said simply, leaving no room for any other interpretation. 

"Wait, really?!" Bokuto's brain was starting to short circuit. He never thought he'd get this far. 

"Yes, but I want to warn you of something about me. I cannot say the words you want me to say." Akaashi's smile dropped. "After, what I went through, I just can’t say those words. I've tried to, I've practiced saying them, but they just won't come out." 

Bokuto's brain took a second to catch up to what Akaashi was saying and when he did his face just brightened. "That's okay!" He smiled. "I don't need you to say it for me to know." 

"You don't?" 

"No!" Bokuto gently grabbed Akaashi's hands. "You're my soulmate and I love you. I love you Keiji and I can say it as much as I need to so you know it, but you don't need to say it back for me to know." 

"You're too good for me." Akaashi smiled with tears pricking his eyes. 

"No, you're too good for me." Bokuto kissed Akaashi's hands.

-

“You said the words, well, Bokuto did, but you both got there. I’m so happy for you!” Kenma cuddled up to Akaashi’s side as they both sat on the couch in their apartment. 

“And you’re getting married?!” 

“You knew that already!” Kenma hit Akaashi’s leg and laughed. 

“Yeah, but I still can’t believe it! You’re getting married and I’m with my soulmate.” Akaashi smiled and closed his eyes. “It almost feels too good to be true.”

“Don’t jinx us, oh my god.” Kenma scoffed. 

“You’re right, nothing bad will spoil this for us.” Akaashi nodded and held Kenma closer to him. 

“Oh, uh, speaking of great things that happen to us,” Kenma pulled away just enough that he could look up at Akaashi and see his face. “Our boyfriends have been bugging me for the last week to bring this up to you,”

“What is it Kozume?”

“Will you, will you let Bokuto move in with us?” He asked quickly. 

“Kotarou wants to, he wants to move in here with us?” Akaashi asked, almost in disbelief. 

“Yeah,” Kenma chuckled awkwardly. “Ever since Kuroo and I got engaged he’s been going on and on about not being able to leave Bokuto alone in their lame dorm room but I told him that it wasn’t up to me if he moved in or not. That it was your decision.” He explained. 

“Oh, uh…”

“If you’re not ready I’m sure Bo would completely understand!” Kenma added quickly. He didn’t want Akaashi to feel pressured to have his boyfriend move in, especially when they would be sharing a room. 

“No, no I’m actually uh, I’m actually okay with that.” 

“You are?” shocked was an understatement for what he felt in that moment. 

“Yeah, I think I am.” Akaashi was also completely shocked he was okay with that. After Eiko, sharing a space with someone he was dating always felt daunting, like he could never handle it again. But surprisingly, he felt fine thinking about sharing a space with Bokuto. It was almost a comforting thought. 

“I, I’ll go tell them then! This is going to be so great!” Kenma sprang up from the couch and rushed into his room to tell Kuroo, leaving Akaashi there to just smile to himself. He had made so much progress to get to this point. 

-

"Akaashi," Bokuto's voice was quiet and soft. "Keiji." His warm breath against Akaashi's ear made him shiver slightly. "Keiji, I love you so much." He whispered. He couldn’t find better words to express just how happy he was in this moment. There he was lying next to the love of his life in their now shared bed in an apartment he shared with his best friends. He truly couldn’t wish for anything more.

"I-" Akaashi frowned, he was so frustrated. The one thing he wanted to tell Bokuto, and he couldn't. 

"Shh, it's okay. I know." Bokuto pressed a soft kiss against Akaashi's temple. 

"I hate that I cannot say it back." Akaashi gritted his teeth together. He hated ruining these moments, these perfect moments he never had the luxury of having before. 

"I know," Bokuto gently grabbed Akaashi's hands. “You may not be able to say it, but this.” Bokuto looked around their now shared room. “This is the most perfect way to show it.”

Akaashi snuggled closer to him, wanting to feel Bokuto’s body heat seeping into his own.

“You’re happy with me being here, right?” 

“If I weren’t, you wouldn’t be here, Ko.” Akaashi told him, his voice getting deeper as sleep started to overtake him. 

“You’re perfect, Keiji.” Bokuto kissed his nose and pulled him closer, ready to fall asleep with his lover wrapped tightly in his arms. Ready to fall asleep happy. 

.

“What did Hinata want earlier?” Bokuto walked into his room but stopped in the doorway. “Sorry!” He quickly turned around with a blush taking up most of his face.

“It’s fine, Kotarou.” Akaashi chuckled and finished pulling on his shirt. It’s only been a few weeks since Bokuto moved into the apartment with them and moved into the room with Akaashi. He had gotten comfortable with Bokuto very quickly, much to his own surprise. 

“Sooo,” Bokuto slowly turned around to make sure his boyfriend was fully clothed before turning the whole way around. “Where are you headed that you’re getting dressed?”

“That’s actually why Hinata was here. He dropped this off for us.” Akaashi dropped an item into Bokuto’s outstretched hand. “I’d love it if you would come with me.” He smiled. 

“Is this the key to the gym?!” Bokuto asked excitedly to which Akaashi just nodded. “How did Hinata even have this??” 

“Well, Tobio had it because he tends to lock up the gym after he’s done and I asked if we could use it.” 

“Keiji, Keiji is this going where I think it is?” Bokuto was starting to bounce as his brain caught up to what was happening. “Are you inviting me to play volleyball with you right now?!” 

“Well, I’m not the best player because unlike the rest of you here I never got the chance to play in high school. But yes, if you want to of course.” 

“Oh my god, of course I want to! Kuroo and Kenma are out bragging about their engagement so any alone time I can get with you would be amazing! Just let me put on some different clothes.” Bokuto ran over to his drawers and pulled out an old t-shirt and some gym shorts. “God, I haven’t been able to play volleyball in a good while. This is gonna be so awesome!”

“I’m gonna go on ahead, just come by when you’re ready.” 

“You’re leaving without me?” Bokuto looked up, a bit hurt if he was being honest. 

“I have a surprise for you, Ko,” Akaashi laughed. “I have to go make sure everything is set up before you get there.” 

“Oh, well, I guess it can’t be helped then.” Bokuto laughed nervously as his blush started to return. Akaashi had set up something for him? He took the time to do something for him?

“Don’t take forever now, but take your time.” Akaashi kissed Bokuto’s cheek and then left the room. 

-

“I’m coming in!” Bokuto called out into the dark gym. It had been about a half hour since Akaashi had left, so he assumed it would be okay to get there now. “Keiji?” He walked through the dark area looking for a light switch wondering if he misunderstood something and they weren’t meeting up at the gym. 

He was immediately proven wrong when lights were switched on, but they weren’t the normal hanging lights in the gym. Strips of LED lights were scattered around the large room and Akaashi stood in the center by a volleyball net that he had already set up. 

“What is this?” Bokuto laughed as he looked around and walked over to join Akaashi. 

“”It’s not much, but I set up a playlist and put these lights around to, I guess, make a mood or something like that.” 

“Hinata set this up, didn’t he?”

“I-” 

“It’s way too cheesy for you and even too cheesy for Kuroo so I figured it would be Hinata.”

“Do you not like it?” Akaashi asked, his previous uncharacteristically strong voice turned small. 

“Ah, no! That’s not what I meant at all!” Bokuto took Akaashi’s hands in his. “I love it.” He whispered. 

“You really do? I just know that because of me we don’t tend to do a lot of different kinds of dates and never really go out of my comfort zone. But I wanted to do something for you because you, Kotarou, you are perfect and I want you to know how much you mean to me. Even if it's with lame music, cheap lights and volleyball.”

“Keiji, I seriously love it. And I love you, so much.” Bokuto leaned forward and kissed Akaashi gently, sweetly, yet passionately. “Now, let’s play some volleyball.” He smiled into the kiss before separating, Akaashi following him slightly before coming back to reality. 

The two played volleyball together for a good while. Akaashi never got to play competitively before but he was a pretty solid setter. Which was perfect for Bokuto because he was a powerful spiker who seemed to need a more level headed setter as a partner. The lights were set on a loop that went through them on a cycle sometimes making the gym a dark blue, sometimes a red, and sometimes even a light grey. The playlist Akaashi had brought along was just one of those “main character” soundtracks you can find on youtube. 

“Oh my god, I haven’t had so much fun in a while!” Bokuto had ended up on the ground after his most recent dig and just decided to stay there. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun.” Akaashi joined him in lying on the ground. 

“Come here.” Bokuto tried to scoop Akaashi into his arms but the latter rolled away from him. 

“No! You’re all sweaty!” He laughed as he continued to roll away from a hyper Bokuto who refused to accept that answer.

Bokuto eventually caught him and held him close as they were breathing heavily and laughing. 

“I caught you.”’ He breathed out.

“You caught me.” Akaashi laughed but was almost immediately muffled by warm lips against his. Bokuto had taken this moment to capture Akaashi’s soft lips with his. The kiss didn’t last nearly as long as either had wanted, but they were both out of breath already and stealing the last of each other’s wasn’t the best plan right now.

“We should leave.” Akaashi muttered against Bokuto’s lips. 

“Yeah, probably.” Bokuto nodded but went back in for another kiss. 

“Haha, seriously Kotarou,” Akaashi peeled his sweaty body off of Bokuto’s. “We should head back now.”

“Ugh.” Bokuto groaned and fell backwards. “I don’t wanna.” He grumbled and continued to do so even as Akaashi pulled him up to stand. 

“Hinata said he'd clean up for us when he gets here tomorrow morning with Tobio, so let’s just head out.”

“Yeah, let’s go home.” Bokuto clutched Akaashi’s hand as the two walked out of the gym.

“I am so thirsty right now.” Akaashi said as he and Bokuto were walking down the sidewalk towards their apartment. 

“Mmm me too, baby.” Bokuto wiggled his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s waist only to be met with a slap on his shoulder and a giggle from Akaashi. 

“I meant actually thirsty, for water.” He clarified.

“I’ll be right back then,” Bokuto let go with a smirk and kissed Akaashi’s hand. “Don’t wander too far.”

“I won’t, Ko. Be careful.” Akaashi smiled as he watched Bokuto pretty much skip away. It had taken a month of them dating for Akaashi to finally feel comfortable watching Bokuto walk away from him because he knew that he would always come back. 

He pulled out his phone to text Hinata. 

**“Thanks for setting this up”**

It didn’t take more than a minute for his phone to start ringing after he sent that text. Hinata Shouyo was more about talking than texting 

“So you had a good time then?!” An excited voice came from Akaashi’s phone. 

“Yes, Hinata, we had a great time. I really appreciate you setting this up for us.” Akaashi smiled to himself. 

“Oh don’t mention it! Tobio has a key to the gym on campus and I know Bokuto likes volleyball so I thought it would be a fun way to spend your time, is all.” 

Akaashi could almost see Hinata’s embarrassed blush and it made him laugh. 

"You must think you're so fucking lucky to have found someone like that." A slurred voice said from behind Akaashi making his laugh die out and making him freeze in his tracks. "Someone can finally make you smile like you mean something." The voice got closer. "It's disgusting." He whispered right into Akaashi's ear. 

“Akaashi?” Hinata asked from the other end of their still on going call.

"W-why are you-?" Akaashi stuttered out. He couldn't bring himself to turn around. If he saw him right then, it would completely spoil the most perfect date he had just been on. He couldn't let this man ruin his new life. He just couldn't. 

"Why am I what, Keiji? Speak! Use your damn words!" 

"Eiko, are you drunk?" Akaashi asked, his voice low and uneven. The way one person could make his name sound like venom dripping from his tongue and seeping into his brain was terrifying. 

"Oh so you do still remember my name, huh?" Eiko stepped out from behind Akaashi and stood in front of him. "And I'm not drunk, you shit! I've told you that I don't get drunk!" His speech was still slurred and his eyes were drooping, but his anger was practically oozing off of him. 

"R-right, sorry." Akaashi lowered his gaze from Eiko's piercing one. He hated how much power Eiko still had over him. “Call Ko.” He whispered into his phone and then quickly hung up. If Eiko saw his phone he’d probably break it. 

"You're as pathetic as ever. Guess Bokuto Kotarou isn't perfect enough to fix your lame ass. Gotta be honest, I feel for the guy. Being stuck with you?" Eiko leaned forward. "Its torture. Lame charity work." He spat in Akaashi's face. 

"H-he loves me." Akaashi tried to say firmly, but the shake of his voice made Eiko laugh. 

"Oh yeah, cause you sound so confident about that." He spun around, waving his bottle of booze. "He must love you a whole bunch huh? He's right by your side, isn't he?" He laughed. "It's almost impressive how much that guy _isn't_ around you." 

"He's my soulmate." Akaashi was starting to get pissed. 

"Oh yes," Eiko stopped spinning and cradled his bottle. "Your soulmate." He said sarcastically and took a sip. "Well, your stupid little soulmate decided to ruin my life." 

"What? How?" 

"I got expelled today, Keiji! Your fucking asshole of a soulmate has just ruined my scholarship. He ruined my fucking life!" Eiko jabbed his finger into Akaashi's chest. "And you know what that means?" He dumped out the rest of the liquid in the bottle and pointed it threateningly at Akaashi. "It means you're gonna have to pay for his mistakes."

"That doesn't make sense, Eiko. I don't see ho-" 

"I had to take responsibility for your stupid ass!" Eiko cut him off. "Don't ya just love, _love_?" He laughed. "I did love you," he quickly stopped laughing and cupped Akaashi's face with his free hand. "But someone got up on their high horse and thought they were too good for me." He squeezed Akaashi's face and glared at him. "Someone thinks they deserve more love." He dragged Akaashi over to the side of a building. "Someone thinks they can ruin my life." 

"Eiko, wait-!" Akaashi eyed the wall that was dangerously close to him. He could feel his legs start to shake. 

"Who do you think that someone is, Keiji?" Eiko twisted Akaashi's arm behind his back until he heard and felt a crack. "Who?!" He yelled and slammed his face against the wall.

"S-stop it." Akaashi said weakly. 

"You're seriously no fun anymore." Eiko pulled Akaashi away from the wall and instead opted to throw him to the ground. "I despise this new attitude of yours." He shoved his shoe against Akaashi's face. "I actually thought I broke you," he stomped down on Akaashi's head. "You need me, Keiji." He stooped down and brought Akaashi’s face up to him by his hair. "Without me you will die alone. Just watch." He let go and watched as his head bounced off the concrete. "I guarantee it." He spat before standing up and turning around. "I know it." And with that he sauntered away leaving Akaashi a crying bleeding mess on the ground. He was too scared to move, too scared Eiko would see him move and come back. So he just lied there. He lied there waiting.

-

"Oh my god, what happened!?" Bokuto ran over to Akaashi's side, his eyes wide with tears threatening to fall as he looked him over. He let his boyfriend out of his line of sight for 20 minutes as he went to get snacks after their date and this is what he comes back to?!

"I-I'm okay, Kotarou." Akaashi looked up at Bokuto and attempted to smile at him. What came out instead was a whimper and gritted teeth. 

"You don't have to lie to me," Bokuto said sadly. He tried to reach out to him but quickly pulled back when Akaashi flinched away. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry." Akaashi wouldn't meet his eye. 

Bokuto gently tilted Akaashi's chin up to get a better look at the damage. He had a cut lip and his nose was bleeding, he had a line of blood coming from his head and underneath his eyes were bruised. 

"I'll call Kuroo and Kenma and we'll take you to the hospital." Bokuto stood up slowly and pulled out his phone. 

"W-wait..!" Akaashi tried to reach out to Bokuto but just ended up groaning in pain as his arm moved. It was twisted in a way that an arm shouldn't be. 

"Don't move!" Bokuto settled Akaashi and made sure he wasn't going to try and move again before standing back up. "You'll be okay." He kissed Akaashi's forehead before finally making his call.

-

"Is there anyone here with you?" The doctor asked when he entered the room. 

"My boyfriend and two roommates are waiting in the waiting room. I didn't want them to see me like this." Akaashi gestured to the hospital gown that crinkled with every move he made. 

"I understand." The doctor sat down next to Akaashi. "Now, the news I have for you does not sound the greatest, but based on your other injuries, it could have definitely been worse." 

"Okay..?" He didn't know where this was going. He was fine. Right? 

"Based on the head scan we took, it appears you have the start of a brain bleed." 

"What?" Akaashi sat up but groaned in pain when his broken arm moved. 

"It's alright, calm down." The doctor soothed. "The bleed itself does not look very serious right now. But, it is too small for us to fix." 

"Is this going to get worse?" 

"There is a small chance it could develop into a chronic subdural hematoma. However, those are very rare in cases like this." 

"Then why um, why bring it up?" Akaashi swallowed, his throat was dry and so his voice sounded scratchy. He hated sounding so pathetic. 

"I am telling you only as a preventative measure. If you develop symptoms such as confusion, trouble speaking or walking, drowsiness, numbness in your limbs, or severe headaches you will need to come back right away." 

"Of course." Akaashi nodded. 

"Now, I need to ask," The doctor started seriously. "Your boyfriend, does he ever hurt you?" 

"No!" Akaashi's eyes widened. "No! He doesn't. I promise." 

"Are you positive? Your injuries are consistent with those of abuse, and you have traces of older injuries that also indicate this. I understand if you want to protect him, but for your safety, I need to know the truth." 

"No, I promise. Kotarou would never even look at me without my permission." Akaashi said, almost defensively. He knew it was the doctor's job and his injuries were pretty serious, but someone even suggesting that this man who saved him from abuse would then abuse him just made him so angry. 

"I understand. But Mr. Akaashi, may I ask how you received these injuries?" 

Akaashi took a deep breath. "My ex, he, he is the one who would hurt me. He is also the one who hurt me this time." 

"Would you like to press charges?" The doctor pulled out a folder and was taking notes. 

"I-" Did he want to press charges? Would that make it stop? 

"I know that this would be hard for you to do, and you should know that it is not an easy process. However, doing this can save you from any further harm, as well as save others from possible future harm." 

"Can, can I think it through?" 

"Of course. I have documented everything and your friend in the waiting room has been nice enough to give detailed accounts of your abuse that he has witnessed. Just tell me when you decide on what to do." 

"Okay." Akaashi nodded. 

The doctor stood up and walked to the door. "You can go home but I can't leave you here alone like this, I am going to need one of your friends or boyfriend to come in so I can inform them of how to continue your at-home care." He opened the door. "Who would you like me to call for?" 

Bokuto would be the most logical choice, but he wasn't exactly the smartest person. He probably wouldn't even be able to focus on the instructions and just worry about Akaashi the whole time instead. Kuroo isn't really an option. He's so busy already that he is barely at the apartment. 

"Kenma Kozume, he is my best friend." 

"Understood. I will be right back." The doctor nodded and then left the room to grab Kenma. 

Akaashi sighed and leaned back. His arm stung with every move he made, his head was pounding, his broken nose was throbbing, and his whole body ached. _'How did I let this happen?'_ He wondered. It's already been months since he got away from Eiko, so how could he have let Eiko not only find him but isolate and corner him? How could he have let himself be so incredibly stupid? 

"Hey there." 

A calm voice interrupted his thoughts. He knew that voice, it always made him feel comfortable. 

"How are you doing?" Kenma sat down beside Akaashi with a small smile on his face. 

"I could be better." He knew better than to lie to Kenma. "But I could be worse." But he also still hated to be pitied and to sound pathetic. 

"Well, I was told you can go home after this. Which is good cause Kuroo and I almost had to knock out Bokuto so he didn't run back here." Kenma chuckled. 

"I'm sorry for being a pain. I never thought he would-" his breath caught in his throat and Akaashi stopped talking. 

"None of us did," Kenma said sadly. Despite knowing there was nothing he could've done, as Akaashi's best friend he still felt somewhat responsible. He should've known Eiko wouldn't let him go just like that. 

Akaashi clenched his eyes shut as he felt tears start to form. "He said Kotarou had ruined his life. That he somehow got him expelled and destroyed his scholarship." 

"What? How could Bokuto have done any of that? They never even saw each other face..to, face…" Kenma's voice faded out as he realized what exactly had happened. 

"Kozume?" Akaashi opened his eyes to look at his friend who was now chewing on his nails. 

"Nothing, it's nothing." Kenma told him with a smile. "Don't worry, Keiji."

Akaashi flinched back at the use of his first name. He absolutely hated the fact that Eiko could completely ruin his name. How could a person just ruin his name?! How could he let Eiko still have so much power over him?!

"None of this was your fault, I promise." Kenma said softly. "Do you want me to call your therapist?" 

Akaashi just nodded. He had been doing so well. His therapist was almost ready to agree to less appointments. But now what? More appointments? He takes 2 steps forward only to be pushed back 5? Is this what his life was going to be? Thinking he could be happy only to be reminded of the cold and harsh reality? 

"You'll get through this." Is all Kenma said before the doctor walked back in to give the at home care instructions to him. 

-

“I need to call Hinata.” Akaashi tried to sit up from his bed where Kenma, Bokuto, and Kuroo all forced him to stay, but the three just gently pushed him back down. “Guys, I was talking to him when _he_ showed up, I need to let Hinata know I’m okay.” 

“He already knows, I called him.” Kuroo assured him. “You just rest now, okay?” 

“Fine.” Akaashi muttered and leaned back, finally allowing himself to calm down. 

“We’ll be right outside if you need us, just call. Okay?” Kenma said softly but flinched back when Akaashi’s eyes flew open. 

“No! Please don’t leave me here alone. I, I don’t, I can’t be here alone, right now…”

Bokuto shoved Kuroo closer to Akaashi and then quickly left the room. 

“I-” Akaashi looked on helplessly as his boyfriend left the room in a hurry. 

“It’s not you.” Kenma assured him before running after Bokuto, very pissed. 

Kuroo sat down on the bed next to Akaashi and held onto his hand sympathetically. He knew his best friend better than anyone, but not even he could tell what exactly was going through Bokuto’s mind when he just up and left his injured boyfriend alone after saying he couldn’t be 

“What the actual fuck is wrong with your head?!” Kenma hissed when he caught up with Bokuto who had stopped when he reached the kitchen. “Do you seriously think it’s a good idea to do that to him after what just happened?!” 

“Why would Eiko do this?” Bokuto turned to look at Kenma with tears rolling down his face. “We got him out, we got him away. It’s been over two months! Why would he do this now!? We were just getting happy…”

“Look, Bo, I understand you’re upset and worried about Keiji, but doing this,” He gestured to him. “Leaving him when he needs you most is not going to help fix anything.”

“I’m not “upset” Kenma, I am enraged. I want to make him pay for what he did. Which he did for no good reason, mind you.” Bokuto bit his lip to try and stop the angry tears from pouring out anymore. 

“I get it, I do. I’m his best friend, you think I don’t want to go do the exact same thing he did to Keiji to him? I would be so down to go and find him with you right now,”

“So then let’s go.”

“But we can’t.” Kenma took a deep breath and put his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders. “Our only job right now is to be there for Keiji. Like you said, we had gotten him out but now he was sucked back in by force; we have to make sure he can pull himself back out.”

“Kenma,” Bokuto knew he was right but to know that he couldn’t do anything more than that was so irritating. 

“Kuroo and I will handle Eiko, you need to take care of Keiji. You’re the only one it’ll mean anything coming from.”

“God, I messed up pretty bad right now, didn’t I?” He brushed his fingers through his hair and sighed. He knew he fucked up, and he fucked up pretty bad. 

“Well, you left your battered boyfriend alone after he just said he didn’t want to be left alone and then rushed out of the room like you couldn’t bear to be in the same space as him. So yeah, I’d say you messed up a bit.” Kenma scoffed. 

“Okay, okay, I get it already.” Bokuto sighed again. “I’ll go back, he needs me right?” He said, earning a small nod from Kenma that prompted him to move, to walk back to his room, ready to fix what he hoped he didn’t actually break. 

-

“He’s sleeping now, Bo. Just let him sleep.” Kuroo whispered as Bokuto walked into the room and headed straight for Akaashi. “Are you done with your melt down now?” He asked when Bokuto replaced him on the edge of the bed. 

“Yeah, I’m done.” Bokuto didn’t even have the energy to argue with Kuroo. The volleyball date combined with the events that occurred right afterwards had exhausted him to the point of silence, which did not happen very often. 

“Good, cause the only one allowed to melt down right now is Akaashi, none of us. Remember that, man.” Is the last thing Kuroo said before he headed out, leaving Bokuto alone with a resting Akaashi. 

“I’m so sorry,’ Bokuto leaned down. “For leaving you alone.” He kissed Akaashi’s forehead. “I will never leave you alone again.”

-

“Alright, what the fuck did you do?” Kenma asked when it was just him and Kuroo. “Keiji said that Eiko thought Bokuto had ruined his life, but I know Bokuto would never do anything to Eiko without permission from someone. So that only leaves you and your adorably protective ass.”

“Aww you think I have an adorable ass?” Kuroo asked sweetly. 

“Not the point you jerk. Just tell me what you did.” 

Kuroo crossed his arms. “All I did was try and get Akaashi’s stuff back from him. But I called campus security to help cause I didn’t know what he would do if it were just me.”

“There had to have been more that happened. He wouldn’t just fly off the handle because you got Keiji’s things back.” Kenma frowned. He was missing some piece of information that would make the situation make sense. 

“All I know is that apparently he already had complaints against him. I didn’t get any details but when I went to his dorm he seemed to know the security guard I went with. Like really well.”

It finally clicked. “So then you saying something must’ve been the tipping point for Eiko. And the school takes longer to prepare to expel a student than you would think.” He hugged Kuroo. “God, I thought everything was okay now, but I should’ve known that Eiko just being out there would lead to problems eventually.”

“Hey now,” Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma. “There is no possible way you could’ve known what was going to happen. And if I knew what was going to happen because of me I would never have done it.”

“I know, I know that, but I still feel responsible in a way. He’s my best friend, Tetsurou.”

“Hindsight is 20/20, Kenma. But let’s just look forward now, we have to take care of him. Better than we were before apparently.”

“Right.” Kenma nodded against Kuroo’s chest. His own had felt very tight ever since he got that stupid call from Bokuto but it started to feel a bit lighter now. 

.

For the next month Akaashi was put on bed rest, not even by his doctor, it was Bokuto. Bokuto would freak out every time Akaashi even tried to get up to do something for himself and eventually Kenma had to step in and actually take over his care like they had planned in the first place. However, until Akaashi’s arm had healed, Kenma did agree on bed rest, he just wasn’t as excessive about it. 

Like Akaashi had thought, Kuroo wasn’t around much to help out. He had picked up a new job in order to help fund his wedding that he and Kenma were planning. He also said he would take care of Akaashi’s rent until he was able to get a job. Kuroo was being the perfect friend through the mess that was October. 

When November rolled around Akaashi had started to notice some of the symptoms that his doctor had described, but he didn’t want to worry anyone.However, what had been him just hiding some minor symptoms in order to keep the peace because his friends and boyfriend were already working overtime for him, eventually turned into him not saying anything because he truly did not want it to be fixed. He didn’t want to get better... 

.

"Ko. Ko stop dragging me already. I can walk on my own just fine." Akaashi laughed as Bokuto continued to pull him through the crowds of people who were also at the amusement park. It was their first date since the volleyball one they had. Akaashi’s arm had healed by now and Bokuto felt okay taking Akaashi out of the apartment. 

"Noo, I have to go win you a giant teddy bear before everyone else takes them all!" Bokuto yelled back at Akaashi. 

"I can live without a big teddy bear, Kotarou." 

"Well, I can’t live without you having one!" 

Akaashi's laugh quickly disappeared as he felt the arm Bokuto was holding started to go numb. _'Oh my god oh my god, no. Not now. Please! Any time but now!'_ For once he was thankful to be trapped in the middle of a big noisy crowd because it meant Bokuto wouldn't be able to see him start to tear up. He knew what this meant, and it was nothing good for him. 

"Ah! There it is!" Bokuto finally stopped moving and let go of Akaashi's hand which caused the numbness to go away and for him to come back to his senses. "There’s only one left!" He whipped around to face Akaashi. "Will you be okay staying right here for a minute while I go win that thing for you?" 

Bokuto was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he excitedly asked Akaashi for permission. How the hell could he refuse a request from an actual puppy. 

"Yes, yes, go ahead. I'll be fine, Ko." Akaashi assured him with a smile. How he let Bokuto talk him into going to an amusement park in the middle of November, he would never know. It was especially annoying because he couldn’t tell if that numbness in his hands was from his brain bleed or from the cold. And he couldn’t tell if the headache was the brain bleed or the crowd. Or if the dizziness was the stupid brain bleed or the bright lights. He just could not tell, and that scared him. But not enough to change his mind. He had to get used to these feelings if he wanted to keep going through with it. It wouldn’t be too much longer now though, he could tell.

.

"Are you sure?" The artist asked. 

"Yes, I’m sure." Akaashi pulled down his shirt to expose his collar bone. "Please do it here." 

"Alright man, and you have the note here right?" 

"Yeah, here you go." Akaashi handed the tattoo artist a piece of paper. He knew he wasn't going to be here much longer so he wanted to get a tattoo as a last permanent message for Bokuto. 

"Is this a message for your soulmate?" The artist had already begun to work on getting the needle ready. 

"Yeah, it is. I just really want him to always remember this." Akaashi had settled back on the chair and closed his eyes. "He needs to know this." 

"Well, it'll take a bit for the tattoo to show up on your soulmate's skin after I'm done but with a message like this that’s handwritten, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind waiting to also have it." 

"Yeah, I’m sure he wouldn’t." Akaashi smiled to himself. He could feel the days getting harder to live through by this point. He could probably go to his doctor right now and have the brain bleed fixed, but honestly, he didn’t really want to. If he was finally nearing the end of his miserable life, who was he to try and prolong it? Spending the last of his life with his friends and boyfriend didn't sound like a horrible end. 

Akaashi and the artist chatted as the tattoo was being worked on. When it was finally done to completion the artist stepped back and admired his work. 

"I think I got your handwriting pretty good there." He smiled down at Akaashi. "Does it hurt?" He asked. 

"No. It really doesn't." Akaashi brushed his fingers over the lettering that was now covered by a saniderm bandage. "Thank you." 

"Of course, leaving behind last messages to soulmates is my specialty." 

"How did-?" Akaashi looked up at him quickly with wide eyes. 

"I know the look someone has in their eye when they know they don't have long. Plus, your message totally gives you away." He chuckled lightly. "If you don’t mind me asking, how long do you have exactly?" 

Akaashi sighed and stood up, only to have to hold onto the outstretched arm of the artist to balance himself. The dizziness was just getting worse. "I'm not too sure, but I know it’s not long. I can feel it." 

"Well, for what it's worth, your soulmate is one lucky guy. That tattoo of yours is so simple but it’s probably one of the best I've ever had the privilege of doing." 

"Thanks again, for doing this. What do I owe you?" Akaashi pulled out his wallet to pay but the tattoo artist just waved his hand. 

"Don’t worry about it, it’s on me." 

"No, I can’t do that. Let me pay." Akaashi insisted. 

"Fine, how about this as payment, you take my number and keep me updated on your condition. It took me a bit to realize but your Bokuto's soulmate aren't you?" 

Akaashi's breath hitched in his throat. 'This guy knows Ko? What if he tells him? What if he-' 

"I won't tell him anything, if that’s what you're worried about. Client confidentiality or something like that." 

"Th-that doesn't really apply to tattoo artists." Akaashi pointed out weakly. 

"Well, it can in this instance. I'm Konoha Akinori by the way, I'm in a few of Bokuto's classes."

Akaashi closed his eyes and sharply sucked in some air. “I’m Akaashi Keiji.” He let the breath out. ”I’m Bokuto’s soulmate.”

“I don’t know what you’ve been through man, and I won’t pry but based on those scars I can guess a thing or two. I hope Bo is good to you, is what I’m trying to say here.” 

Akaashi smiled to himself. "He is." He said fondly. 

"So, what're you dying from anyways?" Konoha sat down and offered a chair to Akaashi. 

"Brain bleed," Akaashi said simply as he sat down. 

"Can't brain bleeds normally be fixed or something?" Konoha asked. He seriously did not want to pry, but he had to know if this guy was fatally injured or just suicidal. 

"Yeah, I suppose they can." Akaashi shrugged. "But I've already decided that this is how I'll die." 

"Ah, so you're a suicidal maniac." 

"What?!" Akaashi swung his head to look at Konoha. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. 

"Don't get me wrong man, I'm not judging you or anything." Konoha put his hands up. "If you've already decided something like that, who am I to say any different? I just had to know, that’s all." 

“Oh…okay then..” Akaashi suddenly felt very awkward. 

“Do you have someone to drive you back home?” Konoha asked him. He didn’t want this conversation to get too weird; he wanted to be close with Akaashi, not scare him off. “I noticed you walked here, but I cannot send you walking back in the dark.”

“Uh, I don’t really want any of my friends to know I’m here.” Akaashi started to pull at his fingers.

“There’s gotta be someone. I would offer but my shift isn’t actually over. I have another client getting here in,” Konoha glanced at the clock. “About 10ish minutes.”

“Well, I could call my friends’ boyfriend. He drives and doesn’t ask questions. And I know he won’t tell anyone.” Akaashi had already grabbed his phone to call him. “And he lives pretty close to here so I should be gone before your next appointment shows up.”

“Great! Go ahead and call him. I’ll wait here with you until he gets here.”

After Akaashi had made his call, the two sat in a slightly awkward but mostly comfortable silence. Konoha wanted to ask him more questions but did not want to scare him off. He felt kind of responsible for Akaashi now. As the only person who knows, and Bokuto’s friend, he wanted to help Akaashi live a semi peaceful life for the rest of it. Akaashi on the other hand couldn’t believe he had just opened up to a stranger, let alone a stranger who knows Bokuto. 

“Uh, hi, you called?” A voice cut off their thoughts. 

“Tobio, I’m sorry for asking you to do this so late.” Akaashi stood up and walked towards Kageyama, Hinata’s boyfriend, and soulmate. 

“It’s okay. Do you have a jacket?” Kageyama asked to which Akaashi just shook his head. 

“Akaashi it’s the end of November and you didn’t bring a jacket?!” Konoha scolded, also standing up. “I’m Konoha Akinori by the way. And you’re Kageyama?” He held out his hand to Kags. 

“Yeah, Kageyama Tobio.”

“And you trust him?” Konoha asked Akaashi. 

“I mean, I trust all of my friends but I know that Tobio would never tell anyone what I tell him.”

“Perfect! This is my number,” Konoha handed Kagyema a piece of paper. “Call me if he ever needs anything.” 

“I thought you were going to give me your number?” 

“I don’t know you all that well, but I know you enough to realize you’d never use it when you really needed to.”

Akaashi didn’t respond to that, just wrapped his arms around his body.

“Here, it’s cold out.” Kageyama draped his jacket over Akaashi’s shoulders.

“Thanks for everything, Konoha. I can’t explain to you how much this tattoo means to me.” Akaashi gave him a small slip of paper. “My number, since you won’t give me yours.” 

Konoha smirked. “Ah, so you’re also a little bit of a shit. We’ll get along just fine Akaashi Keiji, just fine.” He laughed. “And you too Kageyama Tobio, I know you don’t know what the hell is going on but you’re now wrapped up in our little secret group too.” 

“Uh, okay?” Kageyama had absolutely no idea what was happening, but he knew Akaashi and also knew not to press so he let it go. Surely this Konoha guy would explain if he called him later.

“Oh damn, my next appointment is here. Sorry kids time to leave.” Konoha ushered Akaashi and Kageyama out the door of his tattoo parlor. “Get home safe you two.” He waved as they walked over to Kageyama’s car and hopped in. 

“It is cold, huh?” Akaashi worked to warm up his cold hands. “I always forget just how cold nighttime is in November.”

“Are you okay?” Kageyama asked as he started the car. It wasn’t an invasive question and it was just asked in passing, but Tobio deserved some kind of reason as to why he had to pick up his boyfriend’s best friend’s friend at 10 pm on a Saturday. He deserved to know why some strange man at a tattoo shop gave him his number to call in case said friend needed help.

“Tobio, I have no right to do this to you, but if I tell you something, something important, can you promise me you won’t tell anyone? Not even Hinata?” 

“Is it something important to you?” Kageyama asked as he drove. 

“Yeah, it is.” Akaashi nodded. 

“Then sure, I promise.”

“I’m dying, Tobio,” Akaashi muttered.

Without saying a word Kageyama slowly pulled over to the side of the road and then stopped the car. 

“What are you doing?” Akaashi scooted closer to the car door to get away from Kageyama’s now intense stare. 

“I should be asking you that. What are you doing here exactly? I already promised I wouldn’t so I won’t tell anyone, but why aren’t you?” Kageyama asked, his intense gaze never wavering. “I’ll be honest, I don’t really feel any kind of loyalty to you as a friend. I’m only here because of Shouyo. But you, Akaashi, you have friends that _are_ loyal to you. Friends that aren’t me. Friends that probably deserve to know something like this.” He turned back to the steering wheel. “Why are you telling a stranger and someone you barely know instead of your boyfriend or your best friend?”

“That’s…” Akaashi didn’t know what to say. Had he really expected everyone he told to just be okay with this little dying plan? Konoha was different because he lived with secrets like this all the time, but Kageyama? Kageyama was still just a child who is closer to Akaashi’s friend group than Konoha is. And he wasn’t entirely wrong, what was he doing exactly? He was running, that’s what. If he told people he wasn’t especially close with then he could avoid telling those he is close with. He could say he confided in someone, isn’t that what his therapist was always telling him: confide in someone. This is most likely not at all what she meant, but still… “Complicated.” He finally decided on how to finish his pathetic reasoning. ‘Like Tobio would believe something as flimsy as that.’

“Okay,” Kageyama said and started the car back up. 

“O-okay?” Akaashi wasn’t sure he heard him right. 

“Yeah, okay.” Kageyama pulled out to the road again and focused on the street in front of him. “It’s complicated, right? I don’t like that you won’t tell your actual friends, Shouyo is going to be devastated, but you must have your own reasoning. I won’t pry, cause it’s complicated.” The word came out of Kageyama’s mouth like poison. 

The acidic word made Akaashi flinch. He knew that Tobio deserved a better reason than that, but he truly did not have one to offer him. How could he ever hope to convince someone of something he knows will hurt those the two of them are closest to?

After a bit, the two had finally reached Akaashi’s apartment.

“Go warm up.” Kageyama parked and stalled the car. He was not following Akaashi inside or planning on spending any amount of time longer than needed to drop him off. 

“I’m sor-”

“It’s fine, well it’s not, but don’t apologize. Just go inside and rest.” Kageyama interrupted him. “I have to go back and make sure Shouyo ate dinner.”

“You guys eat dinner this late?”

“Not normally, but he refused to eat until he was done studying so I need to make sure he did and he’s not just passed out at his desk.” Kageyama unlocked the doors. “Or mine.” He added as an afterthought as Akaashi got out of the car. 

“Be careful getting back, okay?”

“Yeah, I will.” He said and then sped off. He genuinely could not look at Akaashi’s face any longer. He felt guilty knowing he had to keep a secret like this from Hinata and being with Akaashi any longer would make the guilt eat him from the inside out. 

“Keiji, what the fuck are you doing outside right now?!” Kenma ran out of the apartment and grabbed Akaashi’s arm. “You’re freezing you dumbass. Come on.” He dragged Akaashi inside with a frown plastered on his face. 

“Keiji, where were you?!” Bokuto ran over to him and grabbed his hands. “Oh my god, you’re absolutely freezing!” He brought Akaashi’s hands up to his mouth and kissed them. 

“Whose coat is that?” Kuroo asked and grabbed at Kageyama’s jacket that was still around Akaashi’s shoulders. 

“Yeah, whose coat is that?” Bokuto backed up and eyed the lined windbreaker jacket. He wasn’t jealous per se, but his boyfriend wearing a coat that he knows does not belong to him is a bit _irritating_. 

“Oh, I guess I forgot to give it back to Tobio. I’ll have to do that tomorrow.” Akaashi slipped the jacket off and folded it over his arm. 

“Why are you wearing Kageyama’s jacket?” Kuroo asked. He realized this would be a fun situation to exploit as he looked at Bokuto’s eye twitching. 

“He gave me a ride back is all.” Akaashi shrugged it off. 

“I can drive too you know,” Kenma muttered under his breath. 

“Okay, well then,” Kuroo clapped with a nervous laugh suddenly thinking this wasn’t as fun as he thought it was going to be as he looked at Kenma’s furrowed eyebrows. “It’s late and it looks like Akaashi is still really cold so maybe we should just all head to bed?” He offered, wanting to diffuse the situation before it got worse. 

“Yeah sure, okay.” Kenma agreed, albeit a bit begrudgingly. Kuroo quickly grabbed his arm and led him away to their room, leaving Bokuto and Akaashi alone in the living room. 

Akaashi started walking towards his and Bokuto’s shared room but was stopped by a strong yet gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” He asked softly. “You’re not acting like yourself. Did something happen? Kageyama didn’t do anything did he?” Bokuto asked him seriously. 

Akaashi just smiled and pulled the hand off of his shoulder, opting to hold it in his own instead. “I’m okay, Kotarou, I’m okay.” He promised and just pulled Bokuto to their room to cuddle. His body was numb, either the result of his brain bleed or the cold weather he honestly couldn’t tell anymore.

-

Akaashi woke up to the sound of a ping on his phone indicating a text message had come through.

**"Hey there, welcome to our new gc"**

“Who the…” 

**"It's 2 am, who is this?"**

It only took a second for him to get a response.

**"Its ya new bestie"**

He groaned and put his phone back down, ready to just go back to sleep in the warmth of Bokuto’s arms. But of course, nothing good ever happens to him.

**"Im offended Akaashi : <"**

**"Oh, Konoha"**

If he didn’t respond, Konoha would probably just keep sending messages until he either got a text back or got blocked. And Akaashi wasn’t so keen on blocking one of the only people who knew his situation.

**"Yeah, Konoha : >"**

**"What is this?"**

The other person in the group chat had finally answered.

**"Tobio, how's Hinata?"**

**"Sleeping now. I shoved dinner in his mouth and then he fell asleep"**

**"Well at least he ate?"**

**"Yea 'suppose so"**

**"Anyways, Konoha why are you texting so late?"**

**"I just got off of work and wanted to make sure our little secret group all had each other's numbers : >"**

**"I'm going back to bed now"**

Kageyama texted. 

**"Go ahead Tobio. Sleep well"**

Akaashi could tell Kageyama did not want to be involved in this right now. Not to mention he probably still wasn’t the happiest with Akaashi right then.

**"You 2"**

Is all Kags sent before going offline.

**"He's not very chatty is he? : <"**

Konoha sent.

**"Can you blame him?"**

**"Its 2 am"**

Akaashi double texted, hoping that would get his point across that he, too, wanted to go to bed because it was 2 in the morning.

**"Yea yea I know"**

**"Go back to sleep then cranky pants"**

**"I will but I don't appreciate the petty insults"**

“Thank god,” Akaashi muttered. Konoha had gotten it.

**"Deal with it"**

**"You're insufferable"**

**":P"**

**"Omg I'm done. Goodnight."**

**"Goodnight~~~"**

**": >" **

Akaashi turned off his phone and curled back up with Bokuto. Spending time with Bokuto was all he wanted to do anymore, but he supposed talking with Konoha was a good thing too. But getting close to him was what scared Akaashi, he didn’t want Konoha to regret meeting him. He didn’t want to regret meeting Konoha...

.

"Keijiii, where are you taking meee?" Bokuto hummed impatiently as Akaaahi dragged him by the hand. 

"It's my birthday, right? I'm taking you wherever I want to go." 

"It's your birthday?!" Bokuto stopped walking. "And you didn't _tell me_?!!" 

"I thought Kozume would've told you." Akaashi laughed. 

"No, he didn't!" Bokuto buried his face in the crook of his free arm. "I don’t have a gift for you! Oh my god, I'm such a bad boyfriend!" He cried into his hands. 

"Hey, it’s not a big deal. I've never really been big on getting gifts for my birthday." Akaashi pulled Bokuto's arm away from his face and kissed his nose. "Being able to spend time with you is the best present I could ever get anyway." 

"Where did you learn to be so damn cheesy?" Bokuto blushed.

"I learned from the best," Akaashi smirked. "Now come on, before Kozume and Kuroo start looking for us." He resumed walking through the park that was near the campus. 

"Why are we here?" Bokuto asked once they had settled down next to a lake on a blanket Akaashi brought with him. 

"Do you remember the place you confessed to me?" Akaashi asked. 

"Well of course I do, it was right here."

"Exactly." Akaashi smiled softly. "I really wanted to spend this time with you. Right here, right now." He wouldn't tell him that he knew they'd never get another chance like this again. 

"Are you okay?" Bokuto lay down next to Akaashi on the blanket. 

"I'm okay, Ko. Just thinking." 

"About what?" He looked up at the stars and smiled when he felt Akaashi snuggle closer to him. 

"The future," Akaashi said simply. 

"Our future?" Bokuto's voice was hopeful. It was the only kind of future he wanted to think about, but he wasn't quite sure if Akaashi was on the same page as him. 

"Hmm, I wonder." Akaashi hummed in response. He knew there would be no future for the two of them, that was out of the cards the moment he decided to let his brain bleed worsen. 

"It's pretty cold, isn't it?" Bokuto decided not to push the conversation any further so he opted for a change of topic. "Your birthday being in December must be awesome with Christmas right after. Imagine all those gifts!" He squealed excitedly. "I’ll have to make sure to make up for having no birthday present on Christmas." 

"Let's not, let's not think too far ahead." Akaashi could feel the guilt building in his chest. 

"Oh, that's right. You said you didn't like presents." Bokuto said thoughtfully. 

"No, all I meant was," Akaashi closed what little space was left between them on the ground and smiled into Bokuto's chest. "Let’s just live in the moment." He felt the sting of tears as he thought about the fact this was probably the last time he could just _be_ with Bokuto. He was running out of time. 

"Would you ever change me as your soulmate?" Bokuto asked softly.

"..what.?" _'Change my soulmate?'_ Akaashi thought. He wouldn't dare. He couldn't even think about someone else being his soulmate. 

"It's alright if you don't want to answer, it was a pretty odd question to ask right now."

"I like being here with you, Ko." Akaashi may not have been able to say those three little words he longed to say to Bokuto, but he wanted to get it across that he enjoyed spending time with him. He wouldn't change this for the world.

"Happy birthday, Keiji." Bokuto wrapped his big arms around Akaashi's body and kissed the top of his head. "I love you." 

-

“I don’t know what to do Konoha, this is getting to be too much.” Akaashi tried to calm his breathing but it just wasn’t working. 

“Okay, where are you right now? I’ll come to you and we can talk through this.” Konoha’s voice crackled through the speaker of Akaashi’s phone. 

“I-I’m in Kenma’s car right now, I told him I was going for a walk but I’m just sitting here. I barely got away from them because it’s my birthday.” Akaashi could feel the dizziness and headache start to get worse. “Oh my god, it’s back again.” He groaned. 

“I am on my way to you right now, just take slow and easy breathes and try to stay calm until I get there.” Konoha wasn’t super close to Akaashi, he’d really only known him a few days by this point, but he also knew the symptoms of a panic attack. And anyway, his friend’s soulmate was dying and he was the only one who knew, the least he could do is be there for the guy, right?

Akaashi let out a breathy “Thank you.” and then hung up. He was back to trying to calm himself down by himself. It wasn’t a very easy feat when you could quite literally feel the life draining from your own body. The numbness in his hands had been permanent for the last two days by this point and he couldn’t even tell if he was cold or not despite his shivering. 

“Akaashi, open the door!” 

A loud banging right next to his ear brought him out of his thoughts. He unlocked the car and only realized he could finally feel his hands when Konoha grabbed them. 

“Just how hard were you gripping that steering wheel, dude?” He asked softly and rubbed Akaashi’s white knuckles. 

“I don’t, I,” He couldn’t get the words out. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Konoha soothed. “What can I do?” He asked. When Akaashi just shook his head, Konoha gently wrapped him in a tight hug. “I know we’re not especially close, but you’re shaking.” He explained against Akaashi’s temple.

After a few moments, Akaashi had stopped shaking and his breath was finally evening out. 

“How are you feeling now?” Konoha asked as he let go and set back in the passenger seat of the car. 

“I’m feeling okay now, I’m sorry to call you out so late.” Akaashi pulled at his fingers anxiously. 

“It’s like 10 pm, this is nothing.” Konoha waved it off with a laugh. “Anyway, my roommate, Komi, he doesn’t give two shits about where I am as long as I’m back before he goes to sleep so I don’t disturb him.” He finished with sarcastic air quotes complete with rolling eyes. 

Akaashi laughed. “As long as you won’t get in trouble because of me.”

“I am so down to get in trouble with Komi because of you. Let his stuck up little ass yell at me. He looks funny when he’s irritated.” Konoha smirked devilishly. 

“I think I’m starting to gather that you’re not the best person.” 

“You’re just starting to get that? Oh man, apparently I’m slacking.” Konoha leaned forward and grabbed at Akaashi’s hands, wanting him to stop pulling at his fingers. “You can’t tell anyone I let you think I was anything but a horrible person. I have a reputation to uphold ya know?” But he would never let it be known he was that caring or observant. 

“I would never.” Akaashi laughed and assured him. “I should head back now though. I told Kenma to not wait up for me but knowing him he probably is.”

“Just so you know, this should show up on Bokuto by tomorrow.” Konoha brushed his long fingers over Akaashi’s exposed collarbone. “So, don’t worry too much about that, okay?”

“You can tell, can’t you?” Akaashi sighed and closed his eyes with a light smile. 

“I did tell you that I can see it in someone’s eyes. You don’t think you’ll make it through the night, do you?” 

“No,” Akaashi said simply with a light shake of his head. “I’m going to go spend my night with my soulmate now.” 

“You do that man, you spend all the time you can with him.” Konoha opened the door and stepped out. “If you need anything else tonight, don’t hesitate to call me. I’m serious.” 

“I won’t. Thank you again, Konoha.”

“Don’t mention it. Just go and be happy, at least for a bit longer.” 

And with that Akaashi watched as Konoha walked away and then he got out of his car as well. He made the silent journey back to his shared apartment alone, not ready to face the people inside but knowing he does not have the time to put it off. 

.

"Where were you?" 

"Ah, Kozume." Akaashi kicked off his shoes and met Kenma halfway with a hug. "Sorry about that, I met up with a friend and lost track of time." 

"Well, as long as you're safe." Kenma had been increasingly cautious since the last encounter Akaashi had with Eiko. 

"Thank you." Akaashi breathed out as he tightened his arms around Kenma’s body. 

"For what?" Kenma asked. He could feel something was wrong, but he refused to acknowledge the growing concern. If he didn't acknowledge it then it didn’t exist. 

"For everything. For being my friend, for helping me find my soulmate, for giving me a sense of belonging and security. Just, everything." He let go of Kenma and smiled at him. 

"You’re being really open right now. Are you okay?" 

"I'm okay, Kozume. But I am pretty tired." 

"Well, Bokuto is in bed already so I guess go join him?" Kenma didn't like this feeling. 

"Okay, I think I'll do just that." Akaashi hugged Kenma one last time. "Thank you again." And without giving Kenma a chance to respond, he walked down the hall and entered the room he shared with Bokuto.

"Hey, Kotarou," Akaashi said softly as he got into the bed next to Bokuto. "Are you awake?" He asked and covered himself with the blanket. 

"Yeah, I am. What's up, Keiji?" Bokuto turned to look at Akaashi. He smiled when he saw Akaashi looking at him softly. He reached out a hand and brushed back some hair that had fallen in front of Akaashi's eyes and let his hand linger on the soft skin. 

"Thank you." Akaashi closed his eyes and nuzzled his face against Bokuto's hand. 

"What for, Sweetheart?" His eyebrows raised slightly as he watched his soulmate kiss his palm. "Are you okay?" It wasn't like Akaashi to be so affectionate with him, especially when it was so dark and Akaashi couldn't really see him. Ever since he got away from Eiko, he'd always been wary of things that happened in the dark. He knew Bokuto would never hurt him, but he was also unable to shake the lingering effects of his abuse. 

"For everything. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't responded to me back then when I asked for help." Akaashi sighed lovingly. "I never told you, but I was always worried my soulmate would never care to respond to anything I wrote. Seeing you answer me gave me hope and helped me leave him." 

"Keiji," Bokuto sat up and looked at Akaashi with intense eyes. "What's wrong? Something is wrong isn't it? You don't seem like yourself." 

"Shh, it's okay." Akaashi pulled Bokuto back down to the bed and cuddled up next to him. 

"It doesn't feel okay," Bokuto murmured into Akaashi's hair as he held him close. His body heat was quickly lulling Bokuto back towards sleep. 

"I promise it is." Akaashi brushed his hands through Bokuto's hair. "I'm just feeling sentimental, that's all." He chuckled and kissed Bokuto's nose. 

"I have something I want to talk to you about tomorrow, but for now I love you." Bokuto hummed as his consciousness drifted out. 

"Thank you for loving me." Akaashi sighed contentedly. 

-

“Where do you think you’re going? It’s like 2 am.” 

Akaashi sighed and turned around. Of course he would be stopped before being able to make a clean getaway. Well, at least it was the one he could most likely get away with this who caught him.

“Kuroo,” Akaashi smiled at him but gritted his teeth as a wave of dizziness washed over him. 

“Are you okay?” Kuroo moved closer to help stabilize Akaashi before he could fall. 

“I’m fine, I just have a pretty bad headache. I’m hoping some cool night air will help.” It wasn’t a complete lie. 

“Oh, okay. Do you want some company? It’s pretty dark.” Kuroo asked him. 

“No, no I should be fine. Thanks though, Kuroo.”

“If you ever need anything, you can talk to me.” He said softly. Kuroo knew something was wrong, he had felt like something was wrong since they brought Akaashi home from the hospital that night. But he refused to voice his concerns. He couldn’t…

“I know,” Akaashi smiled at him. “Thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. I can’t begin to tell you how much having you around helped me and everyone else too. You’re almost perfect.”

“Aw, you flatter me.” Kuroo laughed. “I am pretty perfect though.” 

“Mm, if only it wasn’t for that cockiness.” Akaashi sighed, humor twisted throughout his tone.

“You wound me Keiji.” Kuroo clutched his heart but laughed. 

“I’m gonna head out now. Sleep tight.” Akaashi hugged him tightly. “You better make sure you’re there for Kozume.” He whispered. 

“What?” Kuroo pulled away from the hug in shock. Fear gripped his heart at what Akaashi had said. 

“Nothing, just, sleep well, Kuroo.”

“Y-you too.” Kuroo pet Akaashi’s head softly and then watched as he left the apartment, feeling uneasy the whole time.

-

"Hey, man. I wasn't expecting to hear from you again tonight." Konoha’s voice sounded tired and slightly slurred. 

"Are you okay?" Akaashi asked. He may be dying but he's not heartless. 

"Hahaha, yeah I'm fine. Just trying to accept the fact I'll be losing someone I care about." 

Akaashi could almost hear the sarcastic shrug coming from the other side of his phone. "Right.." he said softly. 

"Don't get me wrong, I knew what I was getting into when I forced you to be my friend," he paused. "Acquaintance." He corrected himself. "But I'll never get used to it." 

"Do you do this a lot?" His body was in pain and talking was a great distraction, he wanted to keep the conversation going. 

"Because of what I specialize in, the people I tattoo tend to tell only me that they're dying. It's not easy being the only one who knows something like that, that's all." 

"Do you regret meeting me?" 

"Oh absolutely." Konoha could feel the sadness coming from Akaashi and he just chuckled. "You think you'd know my sarcasm by now, Keiji." He sighed. "I do not regret meeting you. I never have and I never will. I promise." 

Akaashi kicked a rock that was in front of him and watched it roll across the pavement. The wind rustled his dark hair gently, almost caressing it. 

"Are you outside right now?" Konoha asked after a moment of silence between the two. "I can hear the wind through the speaker," he said when Akaashi didn't answer. "Why're you outside right now? I would think you'd want to be beside Bokuto."

"I didn't," Akaashi took a deep breath. "I didn’t want him to wake up and find me beside him like that." 

"So you just left?" 

"It’s easier that way." 

"Akaashi, you shouldn't be alone. Not right now." Any hint of teasing left in Konoha’s voice was replaced by a suddenly serious tone. 

"Thank you for everything you've done for me." 

"Akaashi…" 

"We didn't know each other very long, and this may sound selfish, but I do consider you a close friend." 

"Akaashi, where are you right now?" Konoha was starting to get desperate. 

"I wish we could've met earlier, we probably would’ve ended up really close." Akaashi closed his eyes and willed back tears that were starting to form. 

"Keiji, I'm coming to get you. You shouldn't be alone." Konoha had already started to gather his jacket and keys. 

"No, no it's fine. I'm okay. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with Komi anyway." 

"I already told you I wouldn't mind getting in trouble with him for you. Just stay where you are." 

"No, really it's fine."

"I’m at least sending Kageyama to you. You're on foot so you couldn't have gotten too far from your apartment." 

Akaashi sighed, he knew he would never win this argument. Giving in to Konoha was the best option. 

"Fine," he told him. "But you stay at your dorm." 

"Have it your way." Konoha breathed out and ruffled his hair. "Hey, Keiji." 

"Yeah?" 

"I promise to be there for Bokuto. So don't worry too much about him, okay?" 

Akaashi smiled and finally let his tears fall. One after the other, rapidly growing in number. "Okay." He sobbed out. 

\- 

Bokuto woke up the next morning colder than usual. He opened his eyes only to immediately notice something important missing from his side. 'Where's Keiji?' He sat up and looked around the room, but still couldn't find his soulmate. 

Something was wrong. 

"Kenma? Kuroo?" Bokuto got out of bed and slowly walked out of his room. 

Something felt so wrong. 

"Do you guys know where Keiji is?" He called out into the quiet apartment. All he heard in return was the quiet patter of raindrops against the windows. The morning was quiet, wet, grey, and just dull. No morning, no matter how gloomy outside, has ever felt like that since meeting Akaashi. 

"Bo?" A soft voice came from inside the living room. 

"Jeez Kuroo, you could've answered me sooner ya know. Way to worry a guy." Bokuto chuckled and walked into the room. "What, what's wrong?" He stopped in his tracks when he saw Kenma quickly rubbing his eyes and Kuroo hugging him from behind. "Kenma, why're you crying?" He spoke slowly. 

"Bo, come sit down." Kuroo moved over on the couch to make room. 

"No." Bokuto couldn't bring himself to move from the spot he was fixed in. "Just tell me what's wrong." 

"Kenma got a phone call early this morning from Shouyo." Kuroo started, he wasn't quite sure how to continue but took a shaky breath and just went for it. "Bo, Akaashi's," he felt tears well up in his eyes. "His body was found this morning by Kageyama." 

"His, what now?" Bokuto felt time slow down around him. 

"I'm so sorry. Kageyama and Shouyo took him to the hospital but he was, he was pronounced dead on the way there. Apparently, it was some kind of brain bleed that-" 

"Stop joking with me Kuroo. A joke like this isn't very funny ya know." Bokuto started laughing. 

"Joking?!" Kuroo clenched his fists. "Why in the hell would I joke about something like this?! Are you seriously laughing-?!" 

Kenma put his shaking hands over Kuroo's in a way to get him to stop and then gestured to Bokuto whose laughter had turned into full-on sobbing. 

"Please just say you're, just say you're joking." Bokuto hiccupped. "Please!" The room around him had started to fade and his vision was blurry. He was struggling just to keep himself from falling at this point. 

"Oh..." Kuroo said softly. 

"Bokuto," Kenma stood up. His own legs were shaking, but he was able to make his way over to the shivering man. 

"K-Kenma...is he, is he really?" 

Kenma just nodded solemnly. 

"Oh my god." Bokuto finally let himself crumble to the ground. He was just a trembling heap on the ground now with his arms wrapped around himself. 

"I'm sorry." Kenma dropped down next to him and hugged him tightly. "I am so sorry." 

Bokuto just continued sobbing and clutching onto Kenma who was acting as his anchor right now. If he lost his anchor he'd lose himself, and if that happened, who knew what would come after. 

Kuroo soon joined them when he saw Kenma start to cry again. He pulled them both into his arms and hugged them. His best friend was a mess and his soulmate was barely holding himself together. They needed him, and he knew to step up. 

\- 

"He knew he was dying, didn’t he?" Bokuto stared up at the ceiling and didn't even move when he felt the weight on the other side of the bed shift. 

"Yeah, I think so." Kuroo sighed softly. 

Bokuto had finally calmed down enough to be moved, so Kuroo just took him to his room and lied in the bed with him. 

"I wanna go to my room." 

"You shouldn't do that right now, Bo." 

"I know..." Bokuto turned to his side and closed his eyes, fresh tears rolling down his face. "Ya wanna know what he told me last night?" 

"Sure, man." Kuroo clutched the piece of paper that was in his pocket and closed his eyes. 'I need the right time.' 

"He thanked me." Bokuto rubbed the tears from his eyes and smiled softly. "He said that me replying to his message gave him the courage to leave that asshole." 

"I didn't know that." 

"Me neither." Bokuto sighed. "He also thanked me for loving him." And there they were again, the tears that just didn't seem to want to stop. "I knew something was wrong last night. I should've kept asking him, but instead, I just fell asleep." His voice was trembling again and he could feel more sobs coming his way. 

"You couldn't have done anything. Don't torture yourself thinking you could." 

“I was going to ask him to marry me today, Kuroo.” Bokuto curled his hands into tight fists, hoping the pressure would somehow distract him from the burning pain sitting like a boulder in his chest.

“You weren’t…” Kuroo muttered in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Bokuto stifled a new sob. “I was.” 

Kuroo pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket and turned to face Bokuto. "Hinata gave this to Kenma who gave it to me. I wasn't sure if I should give it to you now,” He stopped as he thought about what Bokuto must be going through right now. “But I think you need this." He handed the folded paper to Bokuto and then stood up. "Don't forget Kenma and I are here for you, Bo." He said and then walked out of the room, leaving Bokuto with the piece of paper.

He couldn't even open the letter. Just let it sit in front of him as he tried to work up the courage that never came. He didn't even want to read it. If he read it, then Akaashi really was gone. And so he just left it there in front of him, glancing at it every once in a while in disgust.

-

"Kenma?" Kuroo said softly as he walked into the living room where he had left Kenma while he took care of Bokuto. "Hey, how are you doing?" 

"I should've known." Kenma looked up. His eyes were red and puffy and his skin was blotchy. "I'm his," he took in a shallow breath. "Was," he corrected and flinched at the word. "His best friend. I knew something was wrong. I knew he was hiding something from me but I-" Kenma interrupted himself with a sob. "I didn’t press e-enough." 

"There was no way you could've known something like this." Kuroo sat down next to him on the couch. "He didn't tell us, we wouldn't have known." 

"But I should've!" He cried. 

Before Kuroo could say anything more, a knock on the apartment door echoed through the quiet room. 

"H-Hinata?" Kuroo opened the door but stepped back as Hinata quickly rushed through the door and made his way to Kenma immediately pulling him into a hug. 

"I would've been here sooner but Tobio had some stuff to take care of and he said I wasn't allowed to drive or walk here alone." Hinata murmured into Kenma's hair that Kuroo had pulled back so it wouldn't stick to his wet face. 

"We failed him, Shouyo." Kenma wrapped his arms around Hinata's body and pulled him closer, if that was possible, and buried his face in the crook of Hinata's neck. "We were always the ones who promised him that we'd take care of him. That we would save him." He choked out. 

"It wasn't our fault. It was his choice, Kenma." 

"Thats a really fucking selfish choice." 

"Yeah," Hinata laughed in between sobs. "Yeah, it is." 

"We should've done more. _I_ should've done more." Kenma pulled away from Hinata and wiped his eyes, it didn't work because fresh tears just replaced the old ones, but he tried. "I've lived with him for months now, Shouyo! If I was going to save him, I had plenty of time to." 

"Kenma, Kenma look at me!" Hinata's voice was strong despite the evidence that proved he had been crying for hours by this point. "We could not have done anything. You could not have done anything. He was just," he took in a shaky breath. "He was tired of being saved, I guess." 

"But I wanted to…!" Kenma fell back into Hinata's open arms. 

"I know, me too…" Hinata comforted him by rubbing circles into the small of his back. His small body was shaking but he was surprisingly confident and calm as he held Kenma together. 

Kuroo couldn't do anything more than just watch and wipe away the tears that flowed freely down his own face. 

Kageyama eventually joined the group and spoke with Kuroo, explaining what exactly happened. Someone needed to know. 

The dark and gloomy day was quiet save for the stray strangled sob that echoed through the apartment. No one was okay after this. Everyone suffered, everyone was in pain, everyone grieved. They all lost the same person but each felt it in different ways. No matter how similarly they might have felt Akaashi's loss, it was always different for everyone in the little ways, and it always would be.

.

.

.

_I know you, so I know you are most likely blaming yourself right now. But listen to me Kotarou, this was in no way your fault, nor could you have prevented it from happening. I'm not you, my love, I'm not strong. I gave up..._

_You know, as I'm walking right now I found a flower that I think would be a good addition to the tulip in our room. Hopefully, it will still be with this letter. When you gave me that tulip, that is when I finally realized that true love does exist. I was made to believe I was unlovable, but you took that idea and squashed it with one little flower. I don’t know if you were aware of the meaning when you decided to give it to me, but I hope you know the meaning of the one I'm giving you-_

Bokuto gently grabbed the flower that was with the letter and started crying. 

"How fitting." He choked out as he lifted the delicate forget-me-not to his face. "True love." He smiled as the tears kept flowing down his face. "The one thing you were never able to say to me. You found a way." 

_-I know I can never come back, I know I'm going to die out here. I never told you, but I have a pretty bad brain bleed. The doctor said it's a chronic subdural hematoma or something like that. The last thing I wanted to do was worry you which is why I never told you, but if I am being honest right now, all I want is for you to be by my side through this,-_

"Then why did you leave without saying anything!" Bokuto fought back the sobs that threatened to overtake his body. "You should've said something, you dummy!...." 

_-but I decided a while ago that when I die, I'm dying alone. I refuse to let those few people that somehow care for me watch me wither away. So, I am so sorry I never told you, and I know you will never agree with me on this, but it is too late now.-_

"D-damn right I don't agree!" Bokuto wiped at his eyes and glanced at the end of the note, he was almost done. He didn't want it to end, this was the last thing he had of Akaashi... 

_-I need to finish this soon, I am starting to feel a little faint. Ha...So in the end, he really did win, didn't he? He always told me I'd end up alone..._

_Oh! I never did tell you what I major in, did I? Well, I'm a psychology student, or was I guess, pretty ironic right? Who would have thought a psychology student wouldn't be able to see the signs of domestic abuse for months?_

_Anyways, Kotarou, I hope you understand that I would never go back. I would never change how we met or how we got together. I would never change you as my soulmate. I know you've asked me before if I would and I couldn't answer, but I am telling you right now that I have never even once thought about it. If I could even be half as precious to you as you are to me, I know that my life was well-lived._

_Hey, Ko, you remember when I got home that one night wearing Tobio's jacket and you got all jealous? Well, I was actually out getting a tattoo. A tattoo for you, for after I was gone. I'm honestly surprised you never saw it on me, but because of our soulmate connection you can see it on yourself now. Just check your collarbone, okay?_

Bokuto walked over to a mirror and pulled the collar of his shirt away so he could see his collarbone. 

"Oh my god…" he choked out when he saw what was written there. 

**_I love you._ **

Was written in Akaashi's handwriting. 

He brushed his fingers over the lettering and fell to the floor as his legs gave out below him. 

_I was never able to say it to you, but this way you'll always know. Always know that I love you Kotarou. I love you more than I love myself. That's how I knew you were the one. It wasn't our soulmate bond, it was me for the first time feeling like I could truly love someone._

_We did not have nearly enough time together, but with the time we did have, I can honestly say, Kotarou, you are my sunshine._


End file.
